Tuesday, December 31, 2013
2013 to 2014.
2013 does really fast, surprising, and exciting year I have ever had.
In my first year of working as an employee in international company makes me realize there is so much things I must learn.
I am happy in this year but not too happy so then I won't leave this year.
Yeah, I no longer live in the past.
I want to move on and start a better life with smile and no regrets.
Still many things I want to change from myself but the greater thing I want to have in 2014 is the closer relationship with my creature. That's my greatest hope.
So, I hope and I am sure 2014 will be the year of prosperity, year of happiness, year of faith.
As you have been guide me along since I was born, I know you are the same God who always wants the best for me and will walking with me not only in the next year but also for the rest of my life...
Happy New Year for all of us
Happy New Year :)
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Writing again :)
Actually, I don't really remember what did happen in this last one year. Maybe, just maybe, I enjoy my journey so much.. Or... This is my defense to admit that I have been strugling along. Which on is the true one? I am not sure. I think both are true. I enjoy the strugling.
My words, guys, maybe seem fragile and yes, my self does. But, don't worry. It just for one second. Just give me one second to be sad in the sorrow, not forever. C'mon, you know I am not a kind of people who has a pity of myself for the rest of my life.
So, many things happen altough I don't remember all, I name the year of 2013 with "Freedom and Friendship" Year
Here are some picture of experiences and also some achievements in 2013:
p.s: I want to share my new friends and other moments in the different post
|February - Captured by Candra, my colleague|
|March - Togetherness with kamikita|
|May - Edited by Dhani, a bestfriend|
|September - Mount Gede|
|October - Sunday School Gathering|
Sunday, November 10, 2013
I absolutely agree with his quote. It is more than a month I absent in writing. Maybe I am too busy write, too busy too think, too busy to express in words.
So now, in midday, I take time to write some things I want to let myself know what exactly that I am doing here.
Poor me. Sometime I don't know what and why I am doing here. All I know is I can life from here. But this is not my life. But, blessed me, I can learn and change to become a better me.
Here are what I become in about one last year:
Almost every-time I take a deep inhale-exhale. It usually happens in office when to-do list is overload, especially when I must do the work that does not exist in my job descriptions. I also learn to be patient from the stubborn people here.
Wake up earlier, tidy up my small room, order the clothes, keep clean my table work, etc.
Making sure I have all the weapons before I go to war!!
This is it. How can it so difficult...? I still learn it. Please, anyone, teach me how to be assertive..
The last but not least.
Hope makes me feel fresh in the morning.
Knowing I still can reach my dream today.
For today I will get what I need for my tomorrow.
Hope makes me can dream.
Hope brings my dream back into my mind, into my life.
I hate being here but I know I have too blessed to be stressed.
So I am continue learning - to fly - reaching my dreams.
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Thanks for being one of my best friends since we were child. Even though in some periods we had separated, there's always a way to get us together.
I may not know everything about but I always remember you.
I may not the one you count on but you know I try my best to be always there.
Thank you for listening to me as much as possible.
Sometime you just get silent when I'm talking, and that's all I need.
You know when I just want to be heard.
I am the one who can not be assertive as you are...
I want to support you but -silly me- I don't know how.
Do not forget that you are precious!
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Idk either I have to be happy or sad because of sudden changes in my life.
I really enjoy the time I spent with my dorm-mate which called Jo. I have some habbits that related to her such as calling her outside to go work together and sharing about anythings happen in our life. But now, she resigns from her office, which means she will be back to her home. Anyway, I am sure we will still be a good friend in the future.
Separated with a friend in dorm and.. also in office. This is not a big matter but affect me. We do some renovating in the room and I move to another table. It has a good view but it has to be no one beside me for reasons.
A dorm-mate, A chairmate, and maybe a soulmate.
Haha.. Don't read too serious about it.
Close with a new friend and trying to a good relationship. But once again, I think it won't work. Maybe we are just too different.
So, lossing so many people in some aspects in my life make me sad enough but I still have faith it will make me and my life better.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Beberapa waktu akan menjadi sangat gelap kemudian terang.
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Sunday, July 28, 2013
I hope you all are well.
I am so sorry my last post was so emotional and I can't promise that will be the last one. Haha. It's not so easy for being an introvert, pleghmatis, and melancholis at the same time. But I will do better from now on. =D
From my last (bad) event of my life I have learnt, do, and think a lot, a lot than I did before.
I let go my mistake, past - every past that make me stuck in the comfort zone.
I joined an english club, sport club, take vocal course (my vocal is getting better each day!), more active in youth community at my church, I talk first to stranger, finishing some books I bought, renovate my room, trying to be an assertive as well as I can be, more confidence talking at the public, helping parents more than I did last year.
I still have some plans for the future. I want to go around the world, see the beauty of God's hand. Learn some languanges as much as I can (although my Jappanesse is not getting better for now.. xD)
I did some improvement to my self and I am happy with that. =D
I realize someday I will be old and on that time I don't want to regret everything I didn't do in my youth.
When a door is closed, be sure God opens another door for me to go. My faith is He directs my path in the right way. That's why I don't have to be worry.
I believe there's never too late to be better.
I love you, Father =D
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Friday, July 12, 2013
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Friday, June 28, 2013
And most of the equipment sport is so difficult to stand on it for a long time.. :(
The coach said it because I rarely do some sport.
Tadaaammm.. He is absolutely right..!!
The only one sport I really like is swimming.
After being coaching, I joined a class.
It was so fun and enjoyed so much.
Here is my list to change my life style knowing that doing sport is also important in life:
1. Decrease fat
I must burn fat become muscles. Haha..!
2. Gain my flexibility
I need to make more moves!!
3. Make the bone stronger
No other way but do some sport.
Aza aza Fightingggg...!!
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Where is your heart? Where is your trust? You trust the evil? The woman? or me?
Friday, May 31, 2013
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
What people try to find in this heartless world?
People are trying to get happiness in their own way..
Siapa yang tidak pernah merasakan kebahagiaan?
Siapa yang tidak pernah merasakan kesedihan?
Siapa yang tidak pernah merasakan perasaan kontradiksi disaat yang sama!?
You smile on your face but cried inside!
You say good things but curse in your heart.
You say happy but actually lonely on your life!
How come people can get lonely when they are not alone?
How come they smile above someone crying?
Let me know the reasons of feeling happy because of someone's sorrow??
I think there's no any good on them.
Is bad things are their truly happiness?
What kind of people here..?!
What a heartless world we live..
How miserable the meaning of happiness on their life..
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
What so special about birthday?
For me, birthday is so special but it doesn't mean it is have to big party to celebrate.
In your birthday, you will remember that you were born years ago.
Most of our family will be happy when a baby born.
Even if someone didn't like u born, believe, your creator - God - was smiling as of your first heart beat. :)
A day before my birthday on this year, my parents and my siblings also gathering together at home.
Yes, I am so thankful for this family. That's why I call it 'home'. We pray each other there. My parents ask me what I want for this birthday..
I am not a kid anymore who ask new thing on her/his birthday so that I told them I want they always be healthy and keep love other like they have done. We sang some songs and shared thought as well.
In the office, all the employees said "happy birthday" for me. Also my boss gave a lovely jacket as a present for me. And the big boss said a happy birthday :).
After office hours, two of my best friends gave me a call and invited me to had dinner together.
So then I went to Grand Indonesia and decided to dinner in Sushi Tei.
They gave me a birthday cupcake. The restaurant gave me free sushi :).
WHAT A LOVELY DAY!!
The next day, my dorm mates just relize that they passed my birthday.. That was okay. And I gave them two pizzas. I was so happy look they happy :).
In Saturday, after I finish teaching I went home directly because I was under the weather (untill.now). when I was lying in the sofa to have some rest, so surprise that Ester, Winna, and my brother came bring a birthday cake!!
On Sunday, my mom took me to mall and bought some shoes and things for me as presents. My big boss' birthday is in Sunday so he want to treat us in Monday at the office.
On Monday, after management meeting, the boss asked all the employee to have lunch together. He asked me and other employees who birthday on May joined him to celebrate.
I will share some of the pictures on the next post.
I am so grateful to have you all in my life.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Actually it doesn't matter if you are vey curious. That is good in so many aspects of life. One thing you should note is with whom you are ask and speak.
If you just know someone for one or two days I suggest you to not have too much conversation about personal things.
Your attitide is your everything!
You better not speak about others, comment to much, and complain to the wrong place.
Make sure you do not do your none of your bussiness. :)
Before you speak, think!
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Hi all. How are you?
Hope you are all have a nice day everyday.
I just want to share a part of my life story nowadays.
I feel really great because my effort has a great result :)
one of my collegues finally can come to Indonesia from London.
When I heard "LONDON" I can think so many things like my teacher when I studied in The British Institute. My friend who go there to study. Manchester United, and SHERLOCK HOLMES.. Oya, Prince Harry, Prince William, are the good part also. London bridge, Bigband.
Everything is cool in United Kingdom!!
when I was child untill now I still want and believe, one day I will stay there.. It doesnt matter I work there or just holiday.. One day, my feet will be in England's ground.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Saturday, March 30, 2013
I know how hard life can be
I know how lovely life can be
For there are seasons under the skies.
In a moment, everyone is around me.
It called success.
And in a moment, they left me behind.
It called.. Down..
Because sincerity is just a lie and smile is just a fake.
No matter how hard you try to be kind it still means nothing because they already get what they want from you.
You will still be wrong.
You can talk but your voice never cacth the air and finally you keep all for yourself. Just for yourself.
You are alone.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
I think about what will I want to do with my life.. This is about my dreams.. What I want to reach for the rest of my life..
I want many things..
I dream about have my own music school in my 30 years old so I will learn a lot about music - classic and its history, players, and others. It will be not only classic but also pop and jazz.
I still have 8 years to spend money, learning management, and learn music for sure.
It will be build with my (future) husband. I hope he will be love music as I do so we can walk in the same vision.
I wish I can meet the man in my middle adulthood :)
eventhough I haven't met him yet I believe we pray each other until someday somewhere somehow God says : this is the right man in the right place and in the right time.
What else I want to do? hmm.. While I am waiting for build my own nusic school and meet my prince I will keep working and earn some money, play hard with friends, and... Learn jappaness. I just learn a little.. Hahaha.. Sometime lazy to start..
I still want to around this world, enjoying God's creation and still thinking the way to reach it..
anyway, the only important think I want to do is enjoying this life whatever things may happen.
If I have to cry, let the tears drop.
If I have to laugh, let my heart feel joy
For everything under the sky has its season :)
Hope God's plans for me are mine also.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Begitulah kurang lebih.
Semua yang aku pelajari membawa aku lebih bahagia. Ya, aku belajar memilih BAHAGIA untuk meresponi kejadian yang terjadi. Tentu aja ada kejadian yang pertamanya bikin sedih, kesal, dan jengkel. Kalau aku terus-terusan jengkel, hal itu membawaku semakin terpuruk. Aku memilih memikirkan apa yang aku punya dan bahagia karenanya.
Dari pemikiran tersebut, aku belajar untuk BERSYUKUR dengan apa yang aku miliki. Berfokus dengan apa yang ada dapat membuat yang ada itu berlipat ganda. Setiap yang kita miliki adalah bentuk rasa percaya Tuhan pada kita, termasuk kelemahan-kelemahan kita.
Aku bersyukur juga memiliki KELEMAHAN, dari situ aku dapat menyadari siapa yang tulus mengasihi aku.
Aku harus mengucapkan terima kasih untuk dua hari belakangan ini pada dua orang yang berbeda.
Terima kasih mau menerima kelemahanku, menunggu dan bahkan mau berjalan BERSAMA untuk membantuku.
Aku menyimpulkan semua itu menjadi satu kata: SABAR (dengan pengertian yang berbeda dari pemahamanku sebelumnya).
Sunday, March 3, 2013
You almost know all about me.
How come you can tell me that you do not want me to be forced to have a friendship with you?
Your thoughts are totally damn stupid.
Am I angry? No.
I just totally disappointed.
What the hell exactly you are thinking?
You don't answer my calls.
You don't answer my questions.
You don't reply my messages.
You leave me with no clue,
I don't even know your reasons.
Read this and realize that I am talking about you.
I am so disappointed at you.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Adalah sangat menyakitkan kalau orang yang paling kita sayangi meragukan rasa sayang kita.
Jadi aku ingin meminta maaf untuk setiap keraguanku.
Maafkan setiap pikiranku yang salah tentang semuanya.
Menyakitkan juga mengetahui orang yang kita sayang sakit hati karena kita meragukan kasih sayangnya.
Aku menyesal telah meragukan semuanya.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Bagaimana kalau kita berbicara dengan bahasa tulisan. Aku bisa menuliskan apa saja yang aku mau tanpa harus melihat wajahmu.
Aku bisa mengeluarkan isi hatiku tanpa melihat reaksimu.
Aku bisa menulis semuanya tanpa merasakan emosimu.
Tapi manusia bukanlah selembar kertas yang diam saja ketika dituliskan apa saja di atasnya.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Saturday, February 9, 2013
February 7, 2013
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Jarak terbesar di antara manusia itu bukan diukur dari berapa kilometer terpisah..
Jarak diukur dari seberapa jauh hati bisa terpisah.
Contohnya, pas waktu ulang tahun gua ke 17. temen yang gua harepin dateng ternyata ga dateng. Dia bilang tiba2 dia ga bisa dateng karen harus pergi mendadak. Gua sedih banget. Kesel. Tapi yaudahlah, gua ga mau marah2 dan merusak hari indah gua.
Dan... You know what.. Ternyata hampir setahun kemudian gua baru tau kalau temen gua itu kecelakaan di hari ultah gua ke 17 wktu pulang beli kado buat gua yg alhasil ikut hancur. Dia blg ke temen2 gua supaya ga kasih tau ke gua.
Pas gua tau tentang itu. Perasaan gua campur aduk. Gua mau marah, salah. Gua mau feel sorry juga gua kesel kenapa dia ga kasih tau gua. Dan emang akhirnya gua beneran tanya, kenapa dia gitu?
Dia cuma bilang: "yaudahlah ga usah.dibahas. Udah lama ini.. Gua ga mau bikin lu kawatir"
jawaban macam itu bikin perasaan gua tambah campur aduk antara keki, kesel, dan marah (kayanya semuanya sama aja).
Sikap dia yg seperti itu membuat gua mempertanyakan tentang jarak gua dan dia. Apa gua terlalu jauh dengan dia sampai dia ga mau jujur. Atau malah sebaliknya? apa kedekatan nembuat jarak seseorang menjadi jauh?
Dari peristiwa itu gua belajar untuk tidak memperlihatkan dan ngasih tau kondisi gua sebenarnya yg bisa bikin orang lain khawatir
Jangan langsung prejudice. Jangan langsung menilai tanpa tau konteksnya apa.
Tapi kalau emang ga nyaman, bingung, ga jelas.. Ya tanya to the point. Jelas.
Kalau masih ga enak bertanya berarti mungkin jaraknya masih jauh.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Seperti kaca spion yang fungsinya untuk melihat ke belakang, hati ini juga sering menengok yang sudah lewat.
Terkadang beberapa memori muncul begitu saja. Dan aku tinggal di dalamnya. Menikmati masa yang telah berakhir.
Ntah terlalu sulit untuk dilupakan atau memang aku yang i.ngin berada di tempat itu. Sekali lagi.
Beruntung otak memegang kendali. Semua secepatnya kutepis.
Kembali melihat ke kaca depan dan tersenyum.
Sesuatu yang lebih baik sudah menungguku di depan.
*dengan alasan yang dirahasiakan, gua bahagia banget waktu selesai nulis ini*
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Ke dalam dunia yang mungkin susunan masyarakat sosialnya seperti jaman revolusi Inggris.
Atau revolusi apapun yang kelompok masyarakatnya terbagi-bagi dalam beberapa kasta.
Selamat datang di kasta paling bawah.
In the middle of the night writting this post
I thank God,
now I have a (better) job after graduation.
I am so sorry I can not sharing about the office here.
but.. I need to adjust my self at SO MUCH in the office.
I am sure that my personality is totally change.
I have learnt a lot here.
I thank God
I have grown up and see the true world
Thank God I can learn SO MUCH things that I have not learnt at school and university.
Learning is never ending.
I thank God for everything happen in my life.
For the blessing I can not see.
For every breath that I take.
For my brain that still have full conectivity to control my body.
It is so wonderful.
That is a miracle.
I thank for every person who support me.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
Monday, January 21, 2013
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Semua orang punya hal hal tertentu yang membuat mereka tetap terjaga ketika dunia terlelap. Pikiran, perasaan... Atau keduanya yang menjelma sebagai mimpi buruk saat masih tersadar.
Perasaan yang masih tersisa dan pikiran yang sadar bahwa sukses itu adalah hasil dari tanggung jawab, kesabaran, dan cinta. Ketiganya bukan hal yang asing namun kini mereka menuntut lebih untuk dapat meraih sukses.
Sukses tidak datang dengan sendirinya. Take the steps and seems no elevator. Mulai dari bawah untuk membangun pondasi yang kuat. And I have no idea how much time it will take. I need bigger faith, more abilities to finish this all.
I need more peaceful moment to get sleep...
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
After through a rough season of life - valley of darkness - I feel relief and can breath again. I met someone a couple year ago. He seemed...
Don't cry and let me hug you. I know you are trying your hardest.
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