Tuesday, December 31, 2013

(Happy) New Year

In minutes, year will change.
2013 to 2014.

2013 does really fast, surprising, and exciting year I have ever had.

In my first year of working as an employee in international company makes me realize there is so much things I must learn.

I am happy in this year but not too happy so then I won't leave this year.

Yeah, I no longer live in the past.
I want to move on and start a better life with smile and no regrets.

Still many things I want to change from myself but the greater thing I want to have in 2014 is the closer relationship with my creature. That's my greatest hope.

So, I hope and I am sure 2014 will be the year of prosperity, year of happiness, year of faith.

As you have been guide me along since I was born, I know you are the same God who always wants the best for me and will walking with me not only in the next year but also for the rest of my life...

Happy New Year for all of us
Once more,

Happy New Year :)

Sunday, December 22, 2013


I am come back!!
Writing again :)

Actually, I don't really remember what did happen in this last one year. Maybe, just maybe, I enjoy my journey so much.. Or... This is my defense to admit that I have been strugling along. Which on is the true one? I am not sure. I think both are true. I enjoy the strugling.

My words, guys, maybe seem fragile and yes, my self does. But, don't worry. It just for one second. Just give me one second to be sad in the sorrow, not forever. C'mon, you know I am not a kind of people who has a pity of myself for the rest of my life.

So, many things happen altough I don't remember all, I name the year of 2013 with "Freedom and Friendship" Year

Here are some picture of experiences and also some achievements in 2013:
p.s: I want to share my new friends and other moments in the different post

February - Captured by Candra, my colleague

March - Togetherness with kamikita

May - Edited by Dhani, a bestfriend

September - Mount Gede

October - Sunday School Gathering

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Sepatu Baru

Sudah rusak?

Masih merindukannya?

Masih merindukannya namun perlu sepatu baru.


Lost in Bali

Hello again! :D

I'm gonna share my first time to be a Table Topic Master (TTM) in Motivator International Club.
TTM is the one who gives some question to other Toastmasters and guess to stand in front and give some speech to answer the question for 1-2 minutes.
Take the role as a TTM is not really a pieces of cake and hard either.
The theme is BALI.
By suggestion from my senior, she asked me to prepare 10 questions.
I think what could be happen in Bali.

So I am gonna share you the 10 questions I have prepared also write the short answer of The Table Topic Speaker.
You can try to answer these question if you want and share it in comments :D

1. If you have a month of being anonymous in Bali, what will you do there, and why?
Guess' Answer:
I enjoy my time to be alone with no one know me. Maybe I will feel lonely but I am sure I will enjoy it.

2. You are walk alone in Kuta and suddenly there is a girl crying because she's lost her parents. You walk her to police but the girl admit that her mother is you. What would you do?
Christina's Answer:
I will bring her to my home and ask her to be honest who is the real of her mother. If she does not want to admit, when she sleep, I will bring and let her sleep in front of Tempat Penitipan Anak (TPA).

3. What is the most unique thing you like in Bali?
(I don't ask this question to anyone)

4. You go to Tari Kecak performance. While you walking, somebody grasp your hand and bring you to backstage. They put Tari Kecak dress at you. They think you were one of the dancer. You don't have time to explain. And finally you are in stage. What would you do?
Agi's Answer: 
I don't know why they think I am the dancer. I have a white skin. But if I were in the stage, as my motto: "The show must go on". So I will follow what the others do until it finish.

5. If you have a chance to visit one area in Bali, what area you will choose?
Ma'am Kim's Answer:
You know, I have a lot of chance to go to Bali. Whenever I want to go there, I can go there.
But there is a very beautiful place in Bali, you can catch fish with you hand. The place is near from Uluwatu.

6. You are a citizen of Bali. Someday, you meet and have a relationship with a Foreigner. The Foreigner ask you to marry him/her and move from Bali to his/ her Country. If not so, he/ she will broke up your relationship. What will you do?
Claudia's answer:
Many Foreigner come to Bali just want to see how beautiful Bali is, how great the beach is, how unique the culture is. And I see, some foreigner also falling in love with Indonesian girl because they are beautiful as well. Unfortunately their relationship end up when foreigner back to his/her country. So if I have a boyfriend force me to leave beautiful Bali, it is better to me to broke the relationship. Love is not egocentric. Love is when you understand someone and talk each other. 

7.What do you think about nightlife in Bali compare to the culture of eastern especially Indonesian culture?
Praw's answer:
I just back from Bali weeks ago and had the first time of my life go clubbing and dance a little (of course not in Toastmaster way). I came in with expensive price, so I suggest you better spend your money to go around Bali rather than spend it for Clubbing.

8. You go surfing in a beach and suddenly there is a big wave bring you to somewhere you don't know. You find the people there with their own language you don't understand. What would you do?
Ikhwan's answer:
I will use 'kutumbaba' language to ask them make me a yacht to go back my place. 

9. Bali is a famous of its beach and other natures. Unfortunately, there is so much garbage. What could you do to make it clean or better?
Iwan's answer:
I will go to related department and ask them to join clean up the beach. If they don't want to, I will go clean by myself.

10. As a trip advisory, what place do you suggest to tourists?
(I don't ask this question)

The Best of Table Topic Speaker is: AGI....!!
Congrats Agi...!! The Show must go on!!!

My Reward of Work

The reward of our work is not what we get but what we to become. -Paulo Coelho

I absolutely agree with his quote. It is more than a month I absent in writing. Maybe I am too busy write, too busy too think, too busy to express in words.
So now, in midday, I take time to write some things I want to let myself know what exactly that I am doing here.

Poor me. Sometime I don't know what and why I am doing here. All I know is I can life from here. But this is not my life. But, blessed me, I can learn and change to become a better me.
Here are what I become in about one last year:

- Patient
Almost every-time I take a deep inhale-exhale. It usually happens in office when to-do list is overload, especially when I must do the work that does not exist in my job descriptions. I also learn to be patient from the stubborn people here.

- Preparation
Wake up earlier, tidy up my small room, order the clothes, keep clean my table work, etc.
Making sure I have all the weapons before I go to war!!

- Assertive?
This is it. How can it so difficult...? I still learn it. Please, anyone, teach me how to be assertive..

- Hope
The last but not least.
Hope makes me feel fresh in the morning.
Knowing I still can reach my dream today.
For today I will get what I need for my tomorrow.
Hope makes me can dream.
Hope brings my dream back into my mind, into my life.

I hate being here but I know I have too blessed to be stressed.

So I am continue learning - to fly - reaching my dreams.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Imagine me without you (I'd be lost and so confused)

As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
'Til the end of time forever
You're the only love I'll need

In my life you're all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you

Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid
Without you there to see me through

Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it's just impossible
Because of you, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can't imagine me without you

When you caught me I was falling
You're love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard my calling
And you rush to set me free

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you

Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid
Without you there to see me through

Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it's just impossible
Because of you, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can't imagine me without you

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you oh

Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid
Without you there to see me through

Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it's just impossible
Because of you, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can't imagine me without you

I can't imagine me without you

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

To you out there #1

Dear you,

Thanks for being one of my best friends since we were child. Even though in some periods we had separated, there's always a way to get us together.

I may not know everything about but I always remember you.
I may not the one you count on but you know I try my best to be always there.

Thank you for listening to me as much as possible.
Sometime you just get silent when I'm talking, and that's all I need.
You know when I just want to be heard.

I am the one who can not be assertive as you are...

I want to support you but -silly me- I don't know how.

Bomnyaaaa, Semangaaaattt.....!!

Do not forget that you are precious!

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

New Episode !!

Idk either I have to be happy or sad because of sudden changes in my life.
I really enjoy the time I spent with my dorm-mate which called Jo. I have some habbits that related to her such as calling her outside to go work together and sharing about anythings happen in our life. But now, she resigns from her office, which means she will be back to her home. Anyway, I am sure we will still be a good friend in the future.
Separated with a friend in dorm and.. also in office. This is not a big matter but affect me. We do some renovating in the room and I move to another table. It has a good view but it has to be no one beside me for reasons.
A dorm-mate, A chairmate, and maybe a soulmate.
Haha.. Don't read too serious about it.
Close with a new friend and trying to a good relationship. But once again, I think it won't work. Maybe we are just too different.

So, lossing so many people in some aspects in my life make me sad enough but I still have faith it will make me and my life better.


Sunday, September 1, 2013

Selamat pagi, Malam.

Tahun ini terasa lebih cepat berlalu dari tahun-tahun sebelumnya.
Meskipun sudah tahun setiap tahun tetap saja terungkap hal yang sama.

Beberapa waktu akan menjadi sangat gelap kemudian terang.
Beberapa orang akan pergi dan sebagian lagi datang.

Ada yang terperangkap dalam kebebasan dan membuatnya terpenjara.

Semua masih berupa bayangan samar yang membuat bimbang untuk melangkah.

Namun selalu ada kepastian dalam keputusasaan.
Tidak pernah ada yang salah dari yang ditetapkan.

Hingga semua mampu menyambut terang yang muncul dalam gelap.

Masih ada harapan untuk esok hari.

Selamat Pagi, Malam.

@RS Harapan Kita
10:46 P.M

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Jadi mahasiswa Psikologi

Waktu aku SMP aku punya cita-cita jadi Psikolog meskipun pelajaran komputer aku yang paling tinggi.
Waktu SMA aku ambil IPA, nilai biologiku biasa saja, Fisika jangan diharapin deh, tapi kalau pelajaran Kimia, itu yang paling aku suka :) 
Di SMA aku juga ikut computer club, sempet ikut lomba dan jadi Finalis di Binus, masuk jadi 25 besar (Nomor 24) dari 100 peserta.
Waktu lulus SMA, sempet beli form pendaftaran di Binus untuk ambil Dekave, tapi setelah dipikir-pikir dan ditimbang-timbang, jadinya aku kuliah di tempat yang sama dengan kakakku - Atma Jaya.
Aku pilih jurusan Psikologi untuk pilihan pertama, jurusan teknobiologi untuk pilihan kedua.
Ternyata langsung diterima di pilihan pertama.

Aku PIKIR, jurusan psikologi itu hanya 'main-main' saja, ternyata . . . (intrepretasi bebas)

Pertanyaan sekaligus pernyataan yang paling sering diajukan adalah:

ehmm.. gemana ya jawabnya...

Pikir aja deh sendiri :)

Jadi (lulusan) mahasiswa Psikologi itu menyenangkan, tapi susah buat dijalanin..

Sunday, July 28, 2013


I never thought before I have some amazing friends surround me.
To all my friends, I want to thank you for your support when I am down !!
Perhaps you even never know that the laugh we share each other heals me !
I love you ! I love you ! I love you !

Improving self

Hi Everyone!
I hope you all are well.

I am so sorry my last post was so emotional and I can't promise that will be the last one. Haha. It's not so easy for being an introvert, pleghmatis, and melancholis at the same time. But I will do better from now on. =D

From my last (bad) event of my life I have learnt, do, and think a lot, a lot than I did before.

I let go my mistake, past - every past that make me stuck in the comfort zone.

I joined an english club, sport club, take vocal course (my vocal is getting better each day!), more active in youth community at my church, I talk first to stranger, finishing some books I bought, renovate my room, trying to be an assertive as well as I can be, more confidence talking at the public, helping parents more than I did last year.

I still have some plans for the future. I want to go around the world, see the beauty of God's hand. Learn some languanges as much as I can (although my Jappanesse is not getting better for now.. xD)

I did some improvement to my self and I am happy with that. =D

I realize someday I will be old and on that time I don't want to regret everything I didn't do in my youth.

When a door is closed, be sure God opens another door for me to go. My faith is He directs my path in the right way. That's why I don't have to be worry.

I believe there's never too late to be better.

I love you, Father =D

Friday, July 12, 2013

Minus is better than zero

I. First Story
Yesterday, I heard someone speech about "minus is better than zero".
He let me knew that he has ever failed in his life. On the way he tried to reach his dream, he has got an accident. Too bad, he could not go ahead. He was angry, upset, and mad at God.
He felt that everything he did was useless.
His father came to him and said, "Son, when you put you efforts and sacrifice on the good things, it never leads you to nothing."   
Sometimes when you feel you already walk in the right path, God just take you to a place you never know because the efforts you did more suitable in God's plan than your plan.

II. Second Story
A man went forward and said that when he was younger, he would join the humor speech contest but his parents did not agree with his decision, they argued and finally won the competition. 
He choose to be his self. He is not live other life and expectation. He lives his life.
He realize he is just life once and he will make it enough.

"I choose to be my self. I don't want to live others' life and expectation. I live my life.
I just life once and I will make it enough".

Friday, June 28, 2013

healthy life - doing sport

Hi guys,

Last Monday, I officially be a member in one of sport gym in Jakarta.

Two days ago I took my chance to be coached by a personal trainer.

First of all I did jogging track, I just can stand for 10 minutes. -_-

And most of the equipment sport is so difficult to stand on it for a long time.. :(

The coach said it because I rarely do some sport.

Tadaaammm.. He is absolutely right..!!

The only one sport I really like is swimming.

After being coaching, I joined a class.

It was so fun and enjoyed so much.

Here is my list to change my life style knowing that doing sport is also important in life:
1. Decrease fat
I must burn fat become muscles. Haha..!
2. Gain my flexibility
I need to make more moves!!
3. Make the bone stronger
No other way but do some sport.

Aza aza Fightingggg...!!

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Today's Preaching

Today I went to another Church in Jakarta. I attend the service with a friend of mine.
The Pastor was from Philippine. Automatically I remember my old friend in that Country and wondering how he is doing.. Okay, that's not what I want to tell. Hehe.. ^o^

I would like to share what the Pastor teach.

At the moment Jesus raise to heaven He told us:

Go you therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatever I have commanded you: and, see, I am with you always, even to the end of the world. Amen.
(Matthew 28:19-20)a

He doesn't call us to just put a "Christian" as our religion. He wants more than that. He want  a relationship between Him and His people. "Christian" is just written not more than three times in the bible but "disciples" written more than a hundred. "Christian" is a religion. "Disciples" is a relationship between a leader and a follower. He wants an intimacy relationship because He loves us.

How can we conclude that He loves us? 
Because He gives us freedom.
God said in
John 14:15: If you love me, keep my commandments.

Any first word in the bible is written is the most important thing.
Where's the first command of God in the Bible?

Genesis 2:16
And the LORD God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of knowledge of good.

Why He doesn't want us to eat that fruit?
- He wants us to Free.
Free is a statement of love. Free means you don't need to pretend to be liked by others. Free means you can choose anything you want. He wants us to keep choose if Him when we tempt leave Him but He never forces us to do that.
He wants we do everything because we love him instead of afraid of Him.
Don't you think that He exactly know Adam will sin against Him of eating the forbidden fruit? 
He is surely know but why God is let Adam do the desire of Adam's own heart?
Because every relationship is based on trust. Trust is the foundation of love. Love is the motive of the relationship.

- Eat is the most enjoyable thing we can do.
So every time we eat we should remember God and thank Him for the food He is given.  

- He wants to do alone to show us what we should do what we should not.
He wants a relationship like a father advice his child.

The fact, we know finally both Adam and Woman eat that fruit.

Do you know the history why Woman can't trust a Man? 
Adam let the Woman eat the forbidden fruit. Why he doesn't stop a Woman to eat for he know God says that whoever eat that fruit will be died? He used the woman and watching whether she would die or no. Maybe in the CCTV of Eden shows Woman take fruit but who knows Adam hold the stair used by the Woman. And after all, When God ask Adam if he eat the forbidden fruit, what Adam said? Adam blamed the Woman and even God.

Genesis 3: 9-10
But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?" He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was naked; so I hid."

I am sure God knows where is Adam but He asked deeper than Adam physically. God asked:
Where is your heart? Where is your trust? You trust the evil? The woman? or me?
Where is our relationship?

Without trusting God, man is stupid! Adam was afraid, insecure, and the Woman lies. She said the Evil tempt her but actually she tempt by herself, admire the fruit itself.
So do we. When we do wrong, we feel afraid, insecure, and tell some lies.

God doesn't let his people died. He gives both of them pain as a signal when they do the wrong thing rather than kill them. So if we feel pain, maybe financial pain, heart pain of others, or any pains, those are a signal of God questions: "Where are you?","Where are your heart?", "Where is our relationship?".
Pain is an act of mercy.
And Finally God himself receive the pain at the cross, the pain that we should feel.
He has forgiven us because He loves us.

Forgiveness is a recipe of a relationship.

As God has forgive us we should forgive others.

*What a nice preaching today

Friday, May 31, 2013

Birthday picture!! \(^o^)/

Hi guys,

I hope you all are well.

As my promise, I publish some of my birthday celebration with lovely people.


Wednesday, May 22, 2013


What people try to find in this heartless world?
People are trying to get happiness in their own way..

Siapa yang tidak pernah merasakan kebahagiaan?
Siapa yang tidak pernah merasakan kesedihan?
Siapa yang tidak pernah merasakan perasaan kontradiksi disaat yang sama!?

You smile on your face but cried inside!
You say good things but curse in your heart.
You say happy but actually lonely on your life!

How come people can get lonely when they are not alone?

How come they smile above someone crying?

Let me know the reasons of feeling happy because of someone's sorrow??

I think there's no any good on them.

Is bad things are their truly happiness?

What kind of people here..?!

What a heartless world we live..

How miserable the meaning of happiness on their life..

Tuesday, May 14, 2013


What so special about birthday?
For me, birthday is so special but it doesn't mean it is have to big party to celebrate.
In your birthday, you will remember that you were born years ago.
Most of our family will be happy when a baby born.
Even if someone didn't like u born, believe, your creator - God - was smiling as of your first heart beat. :)

A day before my birthday on this year, my parents and my siblings also gathering together at home.
Yes, I am so thankful for this family. That's why I call it 'home'. We pray each other there. My parents ask me what I want for this birthday..
I am not a kid anymore who ask new thing on her/his birthday so that I told them I want they always be healthy and keep love other like they have done. We sang some songs and shared thought as well.

In the office, all the employees said "happy birthday" for me. Also my boss gave a lovely jacket as a present for me. And the big boss said a happy birthday :).
After office hours, two of my best friends gave me a call and invited me to had dinner together.
So then I went to Grand Indonesia and decided to dinner in Sushi Tei.
They gave me a birthday cupcake. The restaurant gave me free sushi :).


The next day, my dorm mates just relize that they passed my birthday.. That was okay. And I gave them two pizzas. I was so happy look they happy :).

In Saturday, after I finish teaching I went home directly because I was under the weather (untill.now). when I was lying in the sofa to have some rest, so surprise that Ester, Winna, and my brother came bring a birthday cake!!

On Sunday, my mom took me to mall and bought some shoes and things for me as presents. My big boss' birthday is in Sunday so he want to treat us in Monday at the office.

On Monday, after management meeting, the boss asked all the employee to have lunch together. He asked me and other employees who birthday on May joined him to celebrate.

I will share some of the pictures on the next post.

I am so grateful to have you all in my life.

Thank God.


Saturday, May 4, 2013

Keep your mouth

Actually it doesn't matter if you are vey curious. That is good in so many aspects of life. One thing you should note is with whom you are ask and speak.
If you just know someone for one or two days I suggest you to not have too much conversation about personal things.

Your attitide is your everything!
You better not speak about others, comment to much, and complain to the wrong place.

Make sure you do not do your none of your bussiness. :)

Before you speak, think!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

A dreamer

Yes, I am very much a dreamer.

And I am turning into a reach dreamer.



Hi all. How are you?
Hope you are all have a nice day everyday.
I just want to share a part of my life story nowadays.
I feel really great because my effort has a great result :)
so happy!
one of my collegues finally can come to Indonesia from London.
When I heard "LONDON" I can think so many things like my teacher when I studied in The British Institute. My friend who go there to study. Manchester United, and SHERLOCK HOLMES.. Oya, Prince Harry, Prince William, are the good part also. London bridge, Bigband.
Everything is cool in United Kingdom!!
when I was child untill now I still want and believe, one day I will stay there.. It doesnt matter I work there or just holiday.. One day, my feet will be in England's ground.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Cerita Lucu

Suatu siang yang panas. Sang Bos sedang sibuk dengan banyaknya pekerjaan.
Suara dering telephone mengalihkan pikirannya.

Operator: "Pak, ada telephone dari Hong Kong"

Sang Bos berpikir dalam hatinya, "Ini mungkin klienku".

Bos: "Hallo..?"
x    : "Selamat siang, Pak. Kami dari .... Bank ingin menawarkan kartu kredit.."
Bos: *matiin telpon*

dan terjadi gempa bumi lokal di kantor tersebut.


Sang Phantom dan Kamen Rider

Beberapa waktu lalu, aku makan siang di Cafe kantor bersama beberapa temanku. Salah satu dari mereka sangat menyukai Kamen Rider, aku asumsikan, dia mengidolakan Kamen Rider.
Kamen Rider itu sendiri yang aku tahu adalah ksatria baja hitam. Meskipun aku anak perempuan, ketika masih SD aku sering sekali menontonnya. Aku senang sekali dengan pembela kebenaran. Setelah jaman mulai berganti dan film-film generasi 90 mulai bergeser dengan abad millenium, memori tentang cerita imajinasi ksatria baja hitam juga mulai pudar bahkan hilang.

Saat makan siang itu, rekanku membawa samsung galaxy note-nya agar dapat menonton salah satu episode kamen rider wizard.

Seru juga.

Terlebih seru tentang terjadinya "Phantom". Phantom adalah tokoh antagonis dari film ini. Setiap manusia memiliki Phantom dalam dirinya. Phantom terwujud dari harapan manusia yang mati. Ketika manusia menyerah dan berpikir tidak ada harapan, ia secara otomatis berubah wujud menjadi Phantom.

Phantom... Dia akan menyerang manusia lain dan membunuh harapannya.

Wujud Phantom sangat mengerikan, namun bagiku, lebih mengerikan manusia normal yang sudah tidak punya harapan.

Dalam diri seorang Kamen Rider sebenarnya juga ada Phantom. Namun ia berhasil mempertahankan harapannya. Oleh karena itu, ia diberi penghargaan sehingga bisa menjadi Kamen Rider.

Inilah tugas Kamen Rider: Ia harus menyelematkan harapan orang-orang yang diserang oleh Phantom.

Film ini adalah fakta dengan tingkat imajinasi yang tinggi.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

I know how hard life can be
I know how lovely life can be
For there are seasons under the skies.
In a moment, everyone is around me.
It called success.
And in a moment, they left me behind.
It called.. Down..
Because sincerity is just a lie and smile is just a fake.
No matter how hard you try to be kind it still means nothing because they already get what they want from you.
You will still be wrong.
You can talk but your voice never cacth the air and finally you keep all for yourself. Just for yourself.

You are alone.

Sunday, March 24, 2013


I think about what will I want to do with my life.. This is about my dreams.. What I want to reach for the rest of my life..
I want many things..
I dream about have my own music school in my 30 years old so I will learn a lot about music - classic and its history, players, and others. It will be not only classic but also pop and jazz.
I still have 8 years to spend money, learning management, and learn music for sure.
It will be build with my (future) husband. I hope he will be love music as I do so we can walk in the same vision.
I wish I can meet the man in my middle adulthood :)
eventhough I haven't met him yet I believe we pray each other until someday somewhere somehow God says : this is the right man in the right place and in the right time.
What else I want to do? hmm.. While I am waiting for build my own nusic school and meet my prince I will keep working and earn some money, play hard with friends, and... Learn jappaness. I just learn a little.. Hahaha.. Sometime lazy to start..

I still want to around this world, enjoying God's creation and still thinking the way to reach it..

anyway, the only important think I want to do is enjoying this life whatever things may happen.
If I have to cry, let the tears drop.
If I have to laugh, let my heart feel joy
For everything under the sky has its season :)

Hope God's plans for me are mine also.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Sabar versi lain

Belakangan ini aku banyak belajar hal-hal yang baru maupun diingatkan tentang hal-hal lama atau perpaduannya. Kalau dalam antropologi mungkin bisa dibilang alkuturasi dan asimilasi.
Begitulah kurang lebih.

Semua yang aku pelajari membawa aku lebih bahagia. Ya, aku belajar memilih BAHAGIA untuk meresponi kejadian yang terjadi. Tentu aja ada kejadian yang pertamanya bikin sedih, kesal, dan jengkel. Kalau aku terus-terusan jengkel, hal itu membawaku semakin terpuruk. Aku memilih memikirkan apa yang aku punya dan bahagia karenanya.

Dari pemikiran tersebut, aku belajar untuk BERSYUKUR dengan apa yang aku miliki. Berfokus dengan apa yang ada dapat membuat yang ada itu berlipat ganda. Setiap yang kita miliki adalah bentuk rasa percaya Tuhan pada kita, termasuk kelemahan-kelemahan kita.

Aku bersyukur juga memiliki KELEMAHAN, dari situ aku dapat menyadari siapa yang tulus mengasihi aku.
Aku harus mengucapkan terima kasih untuk dua hari belakangan ini pada dua orang yang berbeda.
Terima kasih mau menerima kelemahanku, menunggu dan bahkan mau berjalan BERSAMA untuk membantuku.

Aku menyimpulkan semua itu menjadi satu kata: SABAR (dengan pengertian yang berbeda dari pemahamanku sebelumnya).

Sunday, March 3, 2013

to you

You know, we have been friends about eight years.
You almost know all about me.
How come you can tell me that you do not want me to be forced to have a friendship with you?
Your thoughts are totally damn stupid.
Am I angry? No.
I just totally disappointed.
What the hell exactly you are thinking?
You don't answer my calls.
You don't answer my questions.
You don't reply my messages.
You leave me with no clue,
I don't even know your reasons.

Read this and realize that I am talking about you.
I am so disappointed at you.
So disappointed.


Monday, February 25, 2013


Adalah sangat menyakitkan kalau orang yang paling kita sayangi meragukan rasa sayang kita.

Jadi aku ingin meminta maaf untuk setiap keraguanku.
Maafkan setiap pikiranku yang salah tentang semuanya.

Menyakitkan juga mengetahui orang yang kita sayang sakit hati karena kita meragukan kasih sayangnya.

Aku menyesal telah meragukan semuanya.

Thursday, February 21, 2013


Bagaimana kalau kita berbicara dengan bahasa tulisan. Aku bisa menuliskan apa saja yang aku mau tanpa harus melihat wajahmu.
Aku bisa mengeluarkan isi hatiku tanpa melihat reaksimu.
Aku bisa menulis semuanya tanpa merasakan emosimu.

Tapi manusia bukanlah selembar kertas yang diam saja ketika dituliskan apa saja di atasnya.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Gong Xi Fa Cai


Happy Chinese New Year...!!

I wish you luck in this snake year

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Still on the journey

My mind walking
That's why my body move
I run to a place
To somewhere I do not know
'Till someday I found some peace
in the middle of heaven
I want to reach the miracle
Flying without regrets
When no one will complaint
And everybody feel joy

February 7, 2013

Thursday, February 7, 2013


Jarak terbesar di antara manusia itu bukan diukur dari berapa kilometer terpisah..
Jarak diukur dari seberapa jauh hati bisa terpisah.
Contohnya, pas waktu ulang tahun gua ke 17. temen yang gua harepin dateng ternyata ga dateng. Dia bilang tiba2 dia ga bisa dateng karen harus pergi mendadak. Gua sedih banget. Kesel. Tapi yaudahlah, gua ga mau marah2 dan merusak hari indah gua.
Dan... You know what.. Ternyata hampir setahun kemudian gua baru tau kalau temen gua itu kecelakaan di hari ultah gua ke 17 wktu pulang beli kado buat gua yg alhasil ikut hancur. Dia blg ke temen2 gua supaya ga kasih tau ke gua.
Pas gua tau tentang itu. Perasaan gua campur aduk. Gua mau marah, salah. Gua mau feel sorry juga gua kesel kenapa dia ga kasih tau gua. Dan emang akhirnya gua beneran tanya, kenapa dia gitu?
Dia cuma bilang: "yaudahlah ga usah.dibahas. Udah lama ini.. Gua ga mau bikin lu kawatir"
jawaban macam itu bikin perasaan gua tambah campur aduk antara keki, kesel, dan marah (kayanya semuanya sama aja).
Sikap dia yg seperti itu membuat gua mempertanyakan tentang jarak gua dan dia. Apa gua terlalu jauh dengan dia sampai dia ga mau jujur. Atau malah sebaliknya? apa kedekatan nembuat jarak seseorang menjadi jauh?

Dari peristiwa itu gua belajar untuk tidak memperlihatkan dan ngasih tau kondisi gua sebenarnya yg bisa bikin orang lain khawatir

Jangan langsung prejudice. Jangan langsung menilai tanpa tau konteksnya apa.
Tapi kalau emang ga nyaman, bingung, ga jelas.. Ya tanya to the point. Jelas.
Kalau masih ga enak bertanya berarti mungkin jaraknya masih jauh.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Kaca spion

Seperti kaca spion yang fungsinya untuk melihat ke belakang, hati ini juga sering menengok yang sudah lewat.
Terkadang beberapa memori muncul begitu saja. Dan aku tinggal di dalamnya. Menikmati masa yang telah berakhir.
Ntah terlalu sulit untuk dilupakan atau memang aku yang i.ngin berada di tempat itu. Sekali lagi.
Beruntung otak memegang kendali. Semua secepatnya kutepis.

Kembali melihat ke kaca depan dan tersenyum.
Sesuatu yang lebih baik sudah menungguku di depan.

*dengan alasan yang dirahasiakan, gua bahagia banget waktu selesai nulis ini*

Saturday, February 2, 2013

I know, I have to go away

Life is an Art #3

"Kita harus bekerja sesuai apa yang kita cintai"

"Sudahlah. Buang saja teori yang sudah usang itu."

. . .

What's the matter with doing what we love?

Life is an Art #2

Selamat datang kembali ke dalam dunia abad jaman kuno.
Ke dalam dunia yang mungkin susunan masyarakat sosialnya seperti jaman revolusi Inggris.
Atau revolusi apapun yang kelompok masyarakatnya terbagi-bagi dalam beberapa kasta.
Selamat datang di kasta paling bawah.

Life is an Art #1

Finally, here I am.
In the middle of the night writting this post
at home.

I thank God,
now I have a (better) job after graduation.
I am so sorry I can not sharing about the office here.

but.. I need to adjust my self at SO MUCH in the office.

I am sure that my personality is totally change.
I have learnt a lot here.

I thank God
I have grown up and see the true world

Thank God I can learn SO MUCH things that I have not learnt at school and university.

Learning is never ending.

I thank God for everything happen in my life.
For the blessing I can not see.
For every breath that I take.
For my brain that still have full conectivity to control my body.
It is so wonderful.
That is a miracle.

I thank for every person who support me.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

Monday, January 21, 2013


Indahnya sebuah hubungan bila dapat seperti anggur.. Semakin lama semakin berkualitas dan semakin manis.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Semua orang punya hal hal tertentu yang membuat mereka tetap terjaga ketika dunia terlelap. Pikiran, perasaan... Atau keduanya yang menjelma sebagai mimpi buruk saat masih tersadar.
Perasaan yang masih tersisa dan pikiran yang sadar bahwa sukses itu adalah hasil dari tanggung jawab, kesabaran, dan cinta. Ketiganya bukan hal yang asing namun kini mereka menuntut lebih untuk dapat meraih sukses.
Sukses tidak datang dengan sendirinya. Take the steps and seems no elevator. Mulai dari bawah untuk membangun pondasi yang kuat. And I have no idea how much time it will take. I need bigger faith, more abilities to finish this all.
I need more peaceful moment to get sleep...

Saturday, January 12, 2013

I shouldn't trust this lying.

Please don't make me believe that I am a single fighter.... For you are always with me.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Tidak realistis

Apa yang diharapkan dari orang yang baru 80 hari kamu kenal?
Berharap kamu segera nyaman dan mengenalnya sama dengan orang yang sudah 8 tahun kamu kenal?

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Perpanjangan tangan Tuhan

Hari pertama di tahun baru, aku duduk bersama mama.
Kami berdiskusi tentang hal yang sedang aku hadapi sekarang.

Dulu aku selalu mendengarkan dongeng yang indah dari mama.
Mama selalu berhasil menenangkan aku dengan cerita-cerita indahnya.

Papa tidak akan membiarkan aku kebingungan dalam hal apapun.
Ia selalu menyediakan yang aku perlukan.
Papa tidak segan-segan mengorbankan waktunya untuk membuat sesuatu yang indah untuk aku.

Namun kini, mama dan papa sangat realistis.
Mama tidak lagi meninabobokan aku dengan nyanyian khayalan.
Papa tidak lagi menemaniku kemana aku pergi.

Mama dan Papa selalu dapat membantuku dalam semua hal.
Aku hanya perlu bilang. 
Mereka selalu memberi apa yang aku butuhkan.

Kata-kata mereka kini memang tidak semanis dahulu, namun mereka mengatakan yang sebenarnya.
Kata-kata mereka membuatku merasa tertegun karena fakta kehidupan yang sewajarnya harus aku jalani.

Kini sudah tiba waktunya untuk aku berdiri sendiri, membuat keputusan sendiri, tenang dengan caraku sendiri. 

Mama dan Papa kini menggendongku dengan cara yang lain.
Mereka tidak kehabisan akal untuk membimbingku.

Bagiku mereka adalah perpanjangan tangan Tuhan.

another chapter.

After through a rough season of life - valley of darkness - I feel relief and can breath again.  I met someone a couple year ago. He seemed...