As I told you, I have being accepted to work in the biggest private Bank in Indonesia, Bank Central Asia (BCA). And I just have finished my first job in Jogjakarta for 4 days 3 nights. I'm so thankful to God about these.. I mean.. I never thought I could through those wonderful moments there and all the things I've got there. It was really amazing.
That was my very first time flight without my parents' money with the best airline (Garuda Indonesia) in my Country, I stayed in the best Hotel, and I will receive my salary in next three weeks. Yiipppieee... xP
Actually, that's not really matter. The best part is finally I can make my parents proud of me.
I can see happiness in my parents' face. My dad couldn't even stop smiling. This is the first time I feel "the reason of my dad's happiness is me". I'm happy because he proud of me. Yeah.. I feel my dad never as glad as that moment before (because of me).
Why I'm so concerned about "me" and my dad's happiness?
As a middle child I often feel being ignored by him. I felt he cares and proud a lot with the oldest and my lil' brother. In karoness, boys became the successor of family (you know, patrilineal system) it makes him care a lot with my brother. Maybe that was sibling jealousy.. xD... the worst was I felt I don't exist in my dad's eyes. I was hope my feeling is wrong.
Sorry, I'm such as a melancholy person. Hehehe..
I had lost my togetherness with my dad when I was teenager because He was so busy with his job. He was be a General Manager in TVRI. He said He tried to earn a lot of money for his family. But I need more than that. I need his time, he couldn't give it to me. You know, teenager was so difficult and he was not there. I was hate him unconsciously. I didn't know who he is.. and I blamed him for those things.
Words couldn't bring him change, anger is either
The only thing I could do was trying to forgive him, respect him as my dad, and praying for him.
After years, finally I realize.. I have a wrong thought about him..
I should proud of him. The happiness I have now is because his work hard.
I can have good friendships with my best friends because I can study in school and university..
and it was not cheap.. Even the job I've got is because I've study in one of the best University and he always pays my tuition bills on time even in time.
When I arrived home after work, He hugged me like said "I proud of you, my daughter"
I know he is a gift from God for me.. :')
He never ignore me, he just behind the scenes, the happines, and the success of me.
He may not a perfect man but I love him more than much...
-If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! Matthew- 7:11 NIV
