Saturday, March 30, 2013

I know how hard life can be
I know how lovely life can be
For there are seasons under the skies.
In a moment, everyone is around me.
It called success.
And in a moment, they left me behind.
It called.. Down..
Because sincerity is just a lie and smile is just a fake.
No matter how hard you try to be kind it still means nothing because they already get what they want from you.
You will still be wrong.
You can talk but your voice never cacth the air and finally you keep all for yourself. Just for yourself.

You are alone.

Sunday, March 24, 2013


I think about what will I want to do with my life.. This is about my dreams.. What I want to reach for the rest of my life..
I want many things..
I dream about have my own music school in my 30 years old so I will learn a lot about music - classic and its history, players, and others. It will be not only classic but also pop and jazz.
I still have 8 years to spend money, learning management, and learn music for sure.
It will be build with my (future) husband. I hope he will be love music as I do so we can walk in the same vision.
I wish I can meet the man in my middle adulthood :)
eventhough I haven't met him yet I believe we pray each other until someday somewhere somehow God says : this is the right man in the right place and in the right time.
What else I want to do? hmm.. While I am waiting for build my own nusic school and meet my prince I will keep working and earn some money, play hard with friends, and... Learn jappaness. I just learn a little.. Hahaha.. Sometime lazy to start..

I still want to around this world, enjoying God's creation and still thinking the way to reach it..

anyway, the only important think I want to do is enjoying this life whatever things may happen.
If I have to cry, let the tears drop.
If I have to laugh, let my heart feel joy
For everything under the sky has its season :)

Hope God's plans for me are mine also.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Sabar versi lain

Belakangan ini aku banyak belajar hal-hal yang baru maupun diingatkan tentang hal-hal lama atau perpaduannya. Kalau dalam antropologi mungkin bisa dibilang alkuturasi dan asimilasi.
Begitulah kurang lebih.

Semua yang aku pelajari membawa aku lebih bahagia. Ya, aku belajar memilih BAHAGIA untuk meresponi kejadian yang terjadi. Tentu aja ada kejadian yang pertamanya bikin sedih, kesal, dan jengkel. Kalau aku terus-terusan jengkel, hal itu membawaku semakin terpuruk. Aku memilih memikirkan apa yang aku punya dan bahagia karenanya.

Dari pemikiran tersebut, aku belajar untuk BERSYUKUR dengan apa yang aku miliki. Berfokus dengan apa yang ada dapat membuat yang ada itu berlipat ganda. Setiap yang kita miliki adalah bentuk rasa percaya Tuhan pada kita, termasuk kelemahan-kelemahan kita.

Aku bersyukur juga memiliki KELEMAHAN, dari situ aku dapat menyadari siapa yang tulus mengasihi aku.
Aku harus mengucapkan terima kasih untuk dua hari belakangan ini pada dua orang yang berbeda.
Terima kasih mau menerima kelemahanku, menunggu dan bahkan mau berjalan BERSAMA untuk membantuku.

Aku menyimpulkan semua itu menjadi satu kata: SABAR (dengan pengertian yang berbeda dari pemahamanku sebelumnya).

Sunday, March 3, 2013

to you

You know, we have been friends about eight years.
You almost know all about me.
How come you can tell me that you do not want me to be forced to have a friendship with you?
Your thoughts are totally damn stupid.
Am I angry? No.
I just totally disappointed.
What the hell exactly you are thinking?
You don't answer my calls.
You don't answer my questions.
You don't reply my messages.
You leave me with no clue,
I don't even know your reasons.

Read this and realize that I am talking about you.
I am so disappointed at you.
So disappointed.


another chapter.

After through a rough season of life - valley of darkness - I feel relief and can breath again.  I met someone a couple year ago. He seemed...