Thursday, October 27, 2011

student prayer (last year on university)

Dear Lord,
help me to always have a positive attitude, to study to the best of my abilities, and always remember that your grace is sufficient to meet every challenge I may face.
Amen.

I read this words on my table.. when I think I'm going to give up on my thesis proposal..
But I know, give up is never gonna be my choice. So I lift my head up and say this prayer.
I know everything is on God's control. I just have to believe and do my best.
Hope never fails.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

a prayer

When I feel so lonely and there's no one around, I believe that God always beside me.
I want to keep His promise for He always give everything on time.
When I feel happiness and there's no one to share, I believe that God is waiting for my thankful.
I want to learn His commands for He is the source of my life.

It feels so hard nowadays, God..
and I need Your strength..
to rescue me.. to support me.. to teach me wherever I go..
Don't let me loose Your way.., for I am nothing without You...

Bring me closer to You..,
Fill my heart with Your love..
Shine my self with Your light..
I need Your shoulder... Comfort me with Your hug..
Tell me that I can through these all with You..

Amen.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

the most favorite band

For all of my life, this is the first time I join in the band. I replaced my sister who can not attend for the competition for playing the piano instrument. Actually I was affraid. I was affraid to make others get upset with my performance because I don't have any experience before.. But I told to my brain and heart to be sure that everything is going right if I practice, practice and practice..
And I always read tweets that always support my mind especially Rick Warren's tweets. So inspiring.
The band mostly practiced at night.. and I stayed in Ester's dormitory (thanks to you, my best friend).
Finally, when I was step on the stage I felt so wonderful but when I got behind the keyboard, suddenly I felt so nervous. I relaxed my self. inhale.. exhale.. haha.. It was so funny if I remember that.. I also pray for I can give my best.
A bandmate gave me sign to start first, and I started press the keys.. and I felt that my tempo is too slowly.. so sad :( But in the chorus the other instruments played together so I got back the tempo. Thank God.
We were not be a champion but we got the most favorite band. Nice..
It is just for God Glory not our victory.
:)

You can see a video when we were practicing here:

Friday, October 14, 2011

Cognitive Disonance

Why there's so difficult to be open to others, especially strangers..?
Why do I so shy and quiet...?

Okay, maybe I talk a lot of things but not deeply..
When my heart says many things but I just speak slightly..

How to express feelings in heart...? Oh God, help me to say it..

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Terlambat

Pernah ngerasain terlambat gaa? tapi bukan terlambat biasa.. terlambat yang disertai dengan penyesalan..

Gw sering banget denger cerita-cerita dramatik seperti itu..
Misalnya seorang anak yang terlambat menyampaikan rasa terima kasih pada orangtuanya.
Atau cerita tentang seorang kekasih yang ditinggal pasangannya sebelum meminta maaf.

Tapi kali ini, kali ini, kali ini..
gw yang merasakan "terlambat"

Hari Jumat lalu ada teman gw yang sakit dan dirawat di Rumah Sakit.. ya.. Dulu gw dekat dengan dia, karena satu dan lain hal, akhirnya udah ga sedekat dulu lagi..
di hari Sabtu semua teman-teman gw menjenguk dia, tapi gw gak bisa makanya gw gak jenguk.
Minggu sibuk, Senin sibuk, akhirnya di hari Selasa ini gw setelah kuliah dan ke IIEF berencana untuk menjenguk dia.

Gw liat di timeline twitter, semua bilang kalau di Bogor ada hujan es, hujan badai, angin kencang, petir..
Memang sih gw merasakan semua itu diperjalanan selama di kereta tapi gw abaikan..
Gw turun dari kereta naik angkot 03 turun di Botani ke Gramedia beli amplop biasa dan amplop ucapan semoga cepat sembuh. Ke J.Co untuk beli oleh-oleh untuk dia dan keluarganya. Di J.Co Gw mempersiapkan segala hal. Gw nulis surat ucapan semoga cepat sembuh. Mempersiapkan beberapa rupiah untuk sedikit membantu biaya pengobatan.
Gw pikir ini saat yang tepat untuk menunjukan kalau gw sangat peduli dengan dia.
Gw naik angkot 06, turun di tempat yang sudah dekat dari Rumah Sakit kemudian berjalan ke arah Rumah Sakit tempat ia dirawat.
Masuk ke kamar yang ternyata bukan kamar dia.. yah.. anggaplah gw salah kamar. haha..
Kemudian gw cek sms gw yang kemaren-kemaren yang ada isinya ajakan untuk menjenguk teman gw tersebut. Akhirnya gw menemukan kamar dia di rawat.

Pada saat gw memasuki kamar tersebut ada anak perempuan kecil dengan manisnya memanggil gw "kakak"... dan gw pun membalasnya dengan sapaan "hallo adek..." sambil berlalu begitu saja mencari tempat tidur teman gw. Gw merasa orang-orang yang menemani bocah kecil tadi berbicara dengan agak sedikit kencang namun gw abaikan. Gw berjalan terus mencari teman gw.. tapi gw ga berhasil menemukannya dan akhirnya gw berbalik arah menuju tempat anak kecil tadi.. Anak kecil tersebut bilang dengan polosnya "kakak, mungkin kakak yang kakak cari itu udah pulang.." lalu seorang bapak yang disampingnya berkata "Iya nak. Hari ini ada pasien yang udah pulang. Katanya rumahnya di Tajur."

Baiklah.. Gw menarik nafas sejenak.. Kemudian gw melihat J.Co yang gw pegang.. Gw kembali menarik nafas.. Gw ambil amplop hijau di atas kotak itu dan gw menyerahkan kotak donut itu kepada keluarga anak perempuan kecil itu tadi. Gw bersalaman dengan orang-orang yang ada di sekitar anak kecil itu dan pamit pulang.

Gw merasa terlambat.. Namun gw ga menyesal.. Mungkin memang seharusnya terjadi seperti ini..
Sekian laporan kebodohan yang gw lakukan hari ini.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Dedicated for my friend


"People never know how special someone is until they leave, but maybe sometimes its important to leave, so they are given that chance to see how special that someone really is!" -Ali Nitka

Thursday, October 6, 2011

10 months... Jakarta, oh Jakarta..

This is about lived in Jakarta about ten months.
Middle of September - December 2010, March - Middle of September 2011.

Kos 18, Mega Kuningan, Karet Kabel. There were three places of dormitory that I ever lived in Jakarta.

Explore the capital city is an interest activity.

I have so many memories there. Like have dinner on Sarinah with girls and continue our night to 7-11 Bundaran HI. Lisa's birthday party on Warung Pasta. Did a project in Hotel Atlet with my team (Anas, Aloi, Gadsam, Tika + bombom, unfortunately Dhani was sick and she were at Hospital). Church on Gereja Duta Injil Ambasador, that was so nice. There was a saxophone player in the Sunday service. Cindy's birthday party on Hotel Borobudur. Well, internship with Delphia and Helen on MOI, Kelapa Gading, is a nice one (After I finish my internship I will write about that :D).
Gadsam's farewell with my girls in Dufan. Join youth fellowship with San-san in Gereja Kristen Jakarta. I've got new friends there, like Asan, Budi, Ci Iie, and so many more. Adventure with Karina in Depok, we were trying to reach her new house. She didn't remember the way to her new house. Stay in Aloi's house in Bintaro..

There are too much places and memories that I couldn't write on this post..
I just feel so lucky that I had all the experiences.
It gives me maturity, knowledge and also friendships.
and I feel so thankful.

another chapter.

After through a rough season of life - valley of darkness - I feel relief and can breath again.  I met someone a couple year ago. He seemed...