My Reward of Work

The reward of our work is not what we get but what we to become. -Paulo Coelho

I absolutely agree with his quote. It is more than a month I absent in writing. Maybe I am too busy write, too busy too think, too busy to express in words.
So now, in midday, I take time to write some things I want to let myself know what exactly that I am doing here.

Poor me. Sometime I don't know what and why I am doing here. All I know is I can life from here. But this is not my life. But, blessed me, I can learn and change to become a better me.
Here are what I become in about one last year:

- Patient
Almost every-time I take a deep inhale-exhale. It usually happens in office when to-do list is overload, especially when I must do the work that does not exist in my job descriptions. I also learn to be patient from the stubborn people here.

- Preparation
Wake up earlier, tidy up my small room, order the clothes, keep clean my table work, etc.
Making sure I have all the weapons before I go to war!!

- Assertive?
This is it. How can it so difficult...? I still learn it. Please, anyone, teach me how to be assertive..

- Hope
The last but not least.
Hope makes me feel fresh in the morning.
Knowing I still can reach my dream today.
For today I will get what I need for my tomorrow.
Hope makes me can dream.
Hope brings my dream back into my mind, into my life.

I hate being here but I know I have too blessed to be stressed.

So I am continue learning - to fly - reaching my dreams.

I will (really, really, really) miss you, guys!

Birthday picture!! \(^o^)/

Hi guys,

I hope you all are well.

As my promise, I publish some of my birthday celebration with lovely people.

:)

Life is an Art #3

"Kita harus bekerja sesuai apa yang kita cintai"

"Sudahlah. Buang saja teori yang sudah usang itu."

. . .

What's the matter with doing what we love?

Life is an Art #1

Finally, here I am.
In the middle of the night writting this post
at home.

I thank God,
now I have a (better) job after graduation.
I am so sorry I can not sharing about the office here.

but.. I need to adjust my self at SO MUCH in the office.

I am sure that my personality is totally change.
I have learnt a lot here.
A LOT.

I thank God
I have grown up and see the true world


Thank God I can learn SO MUCH things that I have not learnt at school and university.

Learning is never ending.

I thank God for everything happen in my life.
For the blessing I can not see.
For every breath that I take.
For my brain that still have full conectivity to control my body.
It is so wonderful.
That is a miracle.

I thank for every person who support me.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

P 56:3

Jadi ceritanya bulan ini gua udah mengosongkan semua jadwal ngajar maupun les di weekday. Memang agak sedih sih karena berarti harus belajar sendiri. Ya tapi itu bukan masalah besar. Dengan kata lain profesi gua sekarang ini (selain pengajar di salah satu sekolah musik) adalah jobseeker.
Pada awalnya gua lulus, gua berpikir akan mudah mendapatkan pekerjaan seperti yang sudah-sudah. Makanya gua mau dua bulan seneng-seneng dulu. Ternyata saudara-saudara, cari kerja memang mudah, dapetin yang cucok yang susah.. xD

The worst part of finding a job is .... "PENIPUAN".

Gua hampir aja kena tipu.. :(
Jadi gua liat di salah satu website job vacancy gitu tentang suatu kerjaan. Gua melamar sebagai management trainee. Beberapa hari kemudian gua mendapat e-mail undangan untuk interview. Awalnya gua senang banget karena gua cek lagi website nya, mereka lagi mengembangkan usahanya di negara-negara Eropa. Gua coba liat, produk apa sih yang mereka jual.. Di situ gua mulai curiga karena kok gua ga menemukan apa yang sebenarnya mereka produksi. Pikiran-pikiran curiga itu gua ganti dengan positive thinking. Gua pikir, lokasi kantornya aja di M.H. Thamrin..., pasti bukan kantor abal-abal..
Nah, malam hari sebelum gua interview, gua coba googling dengan keyword nama perusahaannnya.

Sad, auto text yang keluar "nama perusahaan itu"(Spasi)Penipu.

Ada yang gak beres nih, pikir gua.. Gua buka link-link nya ternyata itu blog suaminya yang istrinya hampir kena tipu. Gak cuma satu link aja, bahkan ada forum diskusi tetang penipuan itu.

Gua lega sih. Puji Tuhan, gua perlu ngeliat muka-muka penipu itu.
Gua juga percaya Tuhan sudah menyiapkan pekerjaan yang terbaik untuk anak-Nya.


When I'm afraid, I will trust in you.. 
Psalm 56:3

Student #2

Okay, kali ini gua akan bercerita tentang murid gua berinisial B. Seorang laki-laki yang udah SMA. Pertama kali gua liat dia, orangnya agak aneh. Kepalanya nunduk kalau jalan dan punggungnya dibongkokkin sama dia.
Kalau lagi latihan dia juga jarang menatap mata gua. Kalau gak diinstruksiin dia juga ga bakal gerak. Awalnya agak bingung juga sih ngajarnya gemana karena otak gua udah berasumsi yang aneh-aneh. Ternyata setelah gua coba ngajar dia, orangnya memang sedikit lebih lambat mengerti daripada orang apda umumnya. Dia pernah mau berhenti main piano karena gak punya piano. Orangtuanya gua liat berusaha banget beliin dia piano. And finally he's got one.
Sulit untuk mendeskripsikan B lebih lanjut karena B sendiri orangnya sangat pendiam.
Mama nya pernah bilang sih kalau B anaknya pemalu banget. Gua pernah terkejut waktu tau ternyata dari rumahnya ke sekolah musik itu mengendarai motor sendiri. Tadinya gua kira dia anak yang di-protect banget sama ortunya.
Gua salut sih sama B dan keluarganya karena gua merasa keduabelah pihak itu pantang menyerah.
Untuk B gua sarankan lebih belajar ketukan. Misalnya gak ada metronome coba clapping dengan ngikutin arah detik jarum jam. Terus B belum hafal tuh do = C, re = D, mi = E, fa = F, sol = G, la = A, si = B.
Penjarian B juga masih belum bagus. Semoga B semakin rajin berlatih jadi setidaknya bisa memperbaiki posisi jari dulu. Semangat yaa B.

Student #1

Last day teaching on weekday! Antara sedih dan senang. Hahaha..
Untuk mengenang masa-masa ini maka gua ingin menulis tentang karakter murid-murid gua.
Tentu saja namanya dirahasiakan. Hehe..

Murid yang pertama akan gua ceritakan adalah seorang laki-laki kelas 6 SD.
Inisialnya G.
Dia baru dua bulan jadi murid gua. Dulunya dia murid rekan gua tapi mungkin karena kurang cocok jadi mereka berpisah.. *lho. hehehe..
Rekan gua sudah mewanti-wanti gua ketika tau muridnya pindah ke gua.
Dan memang sih pas ngajar G ampun deh, geleng-geleng gua.
Gak mau dibilangin anaknya. Orangnya suka-suka. Misalnya gua minta dia main lagu nomor 1, kalau dia mau ya dia main. Kalau dia gak mau, dia bakal bolak balik buku terus main lagu lain -_-"
Kalau udah gitu kan gua nya yang mesti tegas. Pertamanya gua masih nurutin dia. Masih pelajari karakternya gemana. Tapi kok dia belum berubah-berubah gua baik-baikin juga. Akhirnya gua berbicara dengan lantang,
Gua : "Siapa gurunya?"
G    : "Kakak"
Gua : "Sekarang main yang ini!"
G    : *nurut
Gua : (dalam hati "HAHAHA")
Tapi pernah juga dia marah sama gua. Canggih ya anak sekarang, bisa loh ngebentak gurunya..
Gara-garanya dia masih berusaha main lagu terus gua koreksi karena dia mainnya salah.
Dari situ gua bisa liat kalau dia tipe nya anak yang mau ngelakuin semuanya dulu baru habis itu diajarin. Jadi gak bisa tuh gua koreksiin pas dia lagi main lagu.
G suka banget ngobrak ngabrik barang-barang bawaan gua. Metronome gua sering banget dimain-mainin. Kalau liat gua bawa laptop dia langsung buka laptopnya terus bilang "mau main game". Nah, ini kesempatan buat gua untuk membuat dia latihan. Kalau dia mau latihan dan nurut sama gua, 10 menit terakhir dia boleh main game online. Fantastis nya dia bisa loh lancar main lagu nya.
Makanya dia itu cerdas kalau gua liat. Untuk G, gua berharap supaya dia bisa serius main piano nya. Kalau neken tuts piano jarinya harus sesuai sama yang di partitur, jangan ngasal aja.
Semangat G!

Which way to go....

Sitting in a seat I'm waiting on one of my students come.
Listening other students practicing piano, keyboard, and violin.
I realize I'm falling in love for the first time... with music...

After passed my theses defense I decided to focus on learning (and enjoying) music.
For me it is so hard of enjoying something. Some people tell me that I am so serious in this life.
Now here I am... Enjoy, relax, see the world in a different perspective.

I have taken a vocal class. I was late and my teacher kind a young handsome guy :3
I felt so nervous. He told me that I should come on time next class but.... I was late again. five minutes late. I thought it made him bad mood so he looked stern at me. I hope that was just my feeling not in reality. He said I have a problem with give out my voice to the air. He is right. It is difficult to talk about what's on my mind or what's happening. I guess I'm not good at verbal ability and have limitation vocabulary.

I also have taken a violin class. My teacher... I guess he need to learn how to be more patient. I can teach him if he let me but give me a free of charge. HAHA... I had no idea why I CAN'T follow the beat exactly. I need to practice more and more.

What makes I'm afraid is deciding a wrong option. Yesterday I talked to my boss and he told that life is choice. He described what I can get if I still working in his office. He told me he would promote me to be a manager in his music school and my salary will be two digits in my early adulthood. And also I have more time to learn violin and improve my skill on piano. I can imagine how happy my life if I can life like that.
But I know. Life is not that simple. I've learnt about four years in university with my parents' money. How could I do nothing with it... I want to work in formal office with some colleague, have lunch in a restaurant, talk about business, chit chat about each life, make a lot of friendships...    
     
I have to choose... Deep in my heart, I want to stay in music but I can't. In October (after graduation) I will start looking for a job.. Wish me luck..

father and daughter

As I told you, I have being accepted to work in the biggest private Bank in Indonesia, Bank Central Asia (BCA). And I just have finished my first job in Jogjakarta for 4 days 3 nights. I'm so thankful to God about these.. I mean.. I never thought I could through those wonderful moments there and all the things I've got there. It was really amazing.

That was my very first time flight without my parents' money with the best airline (Garuda Indonesia) in my Country, I stayed in the best Hotel, and I will receive my salary in next three weeks. Yiipppieee... xP

Actually, that's not really matter. The best part is finally I can make my parents proud of me.

I can see happiness in my parents' face. My dad couldn't even stop smiling. This is the first time I feel "the reason of my dad's happiness is me". I'm happy because he proud of me. Yeah.. I feel my dad never as glad as that moment before (because of me).

Why I'm so concerned about "me" and my dad's happiness?

As a middle child I often feel being ignored by him. I felt he cares and proud a lot with the oldest and my lil' brother. In karoness, boys became the successor of family (you know, patrilineal system) it makes him care a lot with my brother.  Maybe that was sibling jealousy.. xD... the worst was I felt I don't exist in my dad's eyes. I was hope my feeling is wrong.

Sorry, I'm such as a melancholy person. Hehehe.. 

I had lost my togetherness with my dad when I was teenager because He was so busy with his job. He was be a General Manager in TVRI. He said He tried to earn a lot of money for his family. But I need more than that. I need his time, he couldn't give it to me. You know, teenager was so difficult and he was not there. I was hate him unconsciously. I didn't know who he is.. and I blamed him for those things.

Words couldn't bring him change, anger is either

The only thing I could do was trying to forgive him, respect him as my dad, and praying for him.

After years, finally I realize.. I have a wrong thought about him..

I should proud of him. The happiness I have now is because his work hard.

I can have good friendships with my best friends because I can study in school and university..

and it was not cheap.. Even the job I've got is because I've study in one of the best University and he always pays my tuition bills on time even in time.

When I arrived home after work, He hugged me like said "I proud of you, my daughter"

I know he is a gift from God for me.. :')

He never ignore me, he just behind the scenes, the happines, and the success of me.

He may not a perfect man but I love him more than much...

-If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! Matthew- 7:11 NIV

Back to January !

Well guys, Happy New Year..!!

Some people have their resolutions for this year but I haven't. I kinda lazy using my brain to think hard.. Hahaha..
I rarely have holidays, just let me enjoy it.. Fyi, I have TWO MONTHS HOLIDAY...!!
I'm so excited and freak about holiday. But I'm going to make a quality holiday. I mean I wanna increase quality of my self like playing some instruments (piano, guitar, and violin). My ability in English is still poor. I often make a lot mistakes like technically writing, speaking an also vocabulary and
it makes wrong perception, assumptions, and misunderstanding with some people :( . Blogging is one of my effort to make it better. Ah yaa.., I wanna learn Japannase also this year, seriously. xP

One more information, I've got a job as a freelancer at BCA (Bank Central Asia). So excited about it as well.. The job desk is traveling and give test and give the score for candidat... and I'm going to Jogjakarta this Monday.. *kyaaaaa...~ Hahaha.. I've told you I'm freak about holiday.

Okay, enough about quality holiday.

Help to make my own resolutions for this year by reflect the past events..
Overall, I think I have been so much better than 2010. I've made a lot of move.
Hmm.. It's better to flash back about what big moments that happened in January - Desember 2011.

2011
January -> confused about boyfriend (now he's an ex. xP)
February -> broke up with him (thank God !)
March -> be a pianist in General Church Service. There was a big promblem in big family and I couldn't forgive a man and his family.
April -> Talking with Pak Emil about forgiven. Then I decided to forgive that man and his family :)
May -> My birthday month.. xD
June -> my birthday celebration with my girls (dhanie, aloi, cindy, gadsam, rinane, bombina)
July -> my dad's, mom's, and brother's birthday.. :D
August -> Feeling so down but I can't tell you why. hihihii..
September -> Had a better mood, people around me support me all the way. thanks all.
October -> Move from dorm. Be a part of band, won the competition.
November -> Had a trip to Hong Kong, Shenzhen, and Macau.
December -> Christmas !

Hmm.. I guess I've told too much.. Haha.. Some of you maybe just leaving this page. xP

Ok, what I want to be this year are:
Always be thankful to God whatever happen, bad or good, lose or win, sad or happy.
Fight my fearness. NO MORE FEAR. NO MORE NERVOUS.
More flexible and open to others.

And what I want to do are:
Increase my TOEFL score, my piano playing, hmm.. what else..
FINISH my THESIS n GRADUATE...!  I want to increase  my GPA.
take MASTER program in my major.

what? about love life? Yeah, there was some guys trying to get closer. but I had no interest with 'em. but....
I had been abandoned with someone I interest with.. :( Sad, huh?
Hahaha.. Slow.. but sure.. I'm still praying about Mr. Right :D
believe that God prepare me and him 'till we are ready *God, please take him care*

Ok then, I think enough.. Other resolutions will be know by God only.
What about you? Don't hesitate to share it.

Have a bless year, guys.
God leads.
-in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:19 NIV-