Monday, June 15, 2015

June, you remind me about my childhood.

It's June already.
Yes, don't be surprise. We are in the middle of the year now.
I am pretty excited about what will happen for I am sure there will be many struggles ahead and I believe in every struggle I will see God's grace and His kindness that brings goodness.

So I want to share about one of struggles-miracles phase in my life.
Hopefully you remember about the last post when I wrote about the self-development program from Campus. I take a chance for an extension session in weekday- counseling. Today.
Personally I did not make any preparation, what to tell, what to complain about, or else.
I just try to figure out what trait of me that possible to be the obstacle in my internship.
At first, this is it: moody. Predictable, isn't it?
She helps me find ways no to be moody anymore.. I think I can try it anyway.
And I do not know why, I could not hold my tongue to share about a part of my childhood and remember what I had been through. If you want to know, my childhood was terrible.

Kinda what I feel when I was a kid. 
I talk to my counselor: "Ma'am, I..was... a terrible person, a difficult person... Maybe I had all the disorders in the DSM.. I had commit suicide three times without no one knew. I could hide all my feeling and pretending everything was going fine. Without no one knew. Yes, without no one knew. I didn't have a childhood life that every child dreaming of. But if I see my life now... I am amazed.. that I have grown up to be a strong young lady."

"The only person you need to compare yourself to is who you have been.
The only person you need to be better than is who you are now." 

Throwing back my childhood always feels like God has been exposing my uncountable sin and also my weakness, yet show me how His faithfulness that always change me to be better continuously and how His unending love never fails work on me.. I believe that struggle-miracles phase is one of some ways how God wants us to be surrender at Him, depend on no one but Him.

God doesn't waste anything.
You are not defined by your past. You are prepared by your past. 

It makes me do not want to stop chasing the calling that He has put on me as a (soon to be) psychologist. Knowing that I have a privilege to do a part of His great plan for anyone whom He will send to me, even when it seems impossible and beyond my ability..

"God doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called."

Saturday, June 6, 2015

New Chapter in my life

Be ready for reading a loonggg post. I owe so many adventures to be written but sadly I just can share some of my adventures in this post.
Last month, all of my lectures said "this semester holiday is gonna your 'last holiday'".
Knowing that it will be my 'last holiday' I asked my parents to take me with them to Jambi. Why Jambi? My parents have forestry there for about 10 years and still counting, but I haven't see it yet. Finally, here we are!
The Car we usually use in the forest.

Me and the stuff.

A house in the middle of forest.

I walked for hectares trying to see the whole forest but I can't, too tired. It is literally tropical forest. I mean, a lot of big trees, very hot, strange insects, and so on that I can't see in the city. My parents told me how they spent days there to control the situation and I am amazed how God gives them strength, wisdom, and spirit to operate all the things. I never regrets spent my about four days holiday there.

After Jambi, I went to Depok and had spent 3 days 2 nights with my college friends. My seniors said it will be full of tears and drama. The truth is, I had have fun! Oh yeah, there was a little tears but no drama. 
Rombongan Tangerang

Rombongan kampus

Rombongan Jakarta Barat

Rombongan kampus

Rombongan Jakarta Utara

>_< Bunnted >_<


Obviously I am gonna miss this time because there is a lil' chance to us to gathering full team in years ahead. Have a full team gathering means the end of the semester, means it will be full of internship for the next a year, means the grade point will be known. And yes, two days ago I just have known my grade point... You know whattt... It was really, really unpredictable. My grade point is increased drastically. I don't expect my grade point will be increase because I know, my last semester (and my life) was tough. Even the grade point is higher more than what my academic adviser and I set in the beginning of semester. I really thanking God for this.
And the very great news is, one of my task, is will be published in the Academic Journal. Seriously...... I still can't believe it. I made the paper with my other three friends, and we are all so happy! And also, I really thanking God for this.
This is only by His Grace! He shows me the work of His hand in my life and others. 

I really ready face my new adventure with God!  

another chapter.

After through a rough season of life - valley of darkness - I feel relief and can breath again.  I met someone a couple year ago. He seemed...