Where is The Merlion?

Last month, Celebrating my resigning from the former job I decided to went to Singapore and a asking a friend, Ester, to join me. It was a very quick trip. We stay for three days two nights.

I went to Bandara Soekarno Hatta from ITC Cempaka Mas by Jax Connection. Delightfully, there was a Gojek who accepted my request to ITC Cempaka Mas. Can you imagine I bring a medium size of a suitcase in a motorcycle? I took the first schedule of Jax Connection which at 5 AM when the sky still very dark. AND I AM THE ONLY PASSENGER. HOW CREEPY!! But I kept telling my self to remain calm. And THANK GOD I arrive at the airport in time SAFELY.

I met Ester after I had my breakfast. We were so excited because we never been go to Singapore before. We flight by Lion Air and it was not delay. Amazing. The flight was about 2 hours and we arrived in Changi Airport! Our first destination was Chinatown since we stayed there. We went to Chinatown by MRT and it took about one hour. We used google maps to find our motel and it does not really help so we begin to asked people around, long story short, we found it for one and half hour. Finally. It was so hot and the sun shine so bright!

Our second destination is Merlion Park to see nothing but Merlion. When we arrived there, we desperately tried to find it. WHERE IS THE MERLION? After one hours went around, we just reliaze... the merlion.... is under-construction. My dream to take a picture with a symbol of Singapore was just disappear in a second.... I felt really brokenhearted.

The under-construction Merlion :(
Taken by XiaoMi Note 4

I think the Sun can feel my heart so then the sun was hiding and the rain was falling. We sat and went through across the park around after the rain stop. We enjoyed the environment, park, building, and I admit Singapore is cleaner and far-far hygiene than Jakarta.
In Singapore the day longer than night. At 7 PM the sky is still bright, it begin to dark at 8PM. At night we were so happy because we could enjoy Garden by the bay, the music, the song, the attraction, the technology was so cool and beautiful. After that, we went back to motel at 10.00.

Garden by the bay at night
Taken by XiaoMi Note 4

The next day, in the morning, we get acquainted with our roommates. They are from Japan and Korea. Yay, we have new friends! So the second day, I and Ester went to Universal Studio Singapore. IT WAS AWESOME!! I love it. After that, we had an appointment with our new friend to go to the beach near USS, it called Palawan Beach. I think it is more like harbor than a beach but still have a beautiful natural sky. At night we ate at Chinatown and walked to Clark Quey. We enjoyed the eclipse and blood moon at the same time. It was so memorable.

Ester in action, Palawan Beach, Sentosa Island
Taken by XiaoMi Note 4

Early morning at the third day, I and Ester went back to Indonesia. Our Friend went back to Malaysia to continue his holiday before he went back to Korea.

So the short trip, although, really, really short. It has a lot of meaning. Hopefully next time, I can explore the city more or maybe just visit another country. Europe? Maybe.

February – Month of LOVE (Friendship Love)

Having a psychology issue always need more effort to have friends, even just a friend, or close friend(s). Blessed me, I have improved myself - when people around me with their kindness trying to get close to me, I brave enough to welcoming them!

At the first time, I think, “How if I look silly on their eyes?”

“How if they can’t accept my presence”

“What they will do with my unfunny joke?”

And proudly write a story about ‘How I met KamiKita’ to bomce, cinday, gadsam, aloince, dance, rince, and me also J here it goes:

If you all remember, it was a shining afternoon. I sat around you, guys. Waiting for class? Hmm, at first, YES! But… You all persuade me to skip the class for reasons! Hahaa. But it’s okay. I have another class with you all. An everlasting class of friendship starts from that day.

Before we left Hall C, I let you all know about my broken heart with my ex boyfriend. I broke up with him in 14 February when people call it a day of love. Never mind, that is not my point anyway. Then we are all went to Plaza Semanggi to lunch, talking each other, window shopping, and forget about the class.

Day by day, we are getting closer. I know you all better. Maybe not closer just like you are all each other. But I thankful that you guys trust me enough to tell your secrets. And secret makes friend stronger.

Actually not only secret, every struggle we have, made us has more attachment. One day, I have a conflict with one of you. At that time, I though like this: “You don’t understand me. You are a very egoist person. Why in this earth there is a person like you? You are just like a heartless girl. You don’t deserve a friendship if you don’t appreciate your friend!”

Month by month, we didn’t contact. We just like a stranger, cold and uncaring, act like we didn’t know each other.

And sometime I blamed myself for that and though it would be better if I went out from all of you just like at first time. One of you, said, that was not totally because of me so then I didn’t need to walk out. 

Then, I stayed.

Finally, we met in one of our friend and you talk to me as usual just like nothing at all. Actually, I felt awkward at that moment. But deepest in my heart, I felt happy.

And now all is clear between us. No more angry, hate, or negative emotions.

She is now the only one who walks in when the others walk out. I proudly say that the one I thought my enemy is become my best friend.

For you all, you are the priceless gift from God. I’m glad we can meet and improve each other. Keep our friendship will last until we become grandma. Hahaha.

And to one of you that I don’t know where you are, please stay.

Just stay.

Stay.

Imagine me without you (I'd be lost and so confused)

As long as stars shine down from heaven

And the rivers run into the sea

'Til the end of time forever

You're the only love I'll need

In my life you're all that matters

In my eyes the only truth I see

When my hopes and dreams have shattered

You're the one that's there for me

When I found you I was blessed

And I will never leave you, I need you

Imagine me without you

I'd be lost and so confused

I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid

Without you there to see me through

Imagine me without you

Lord, you know it's just impossible

Because of you, it's all brand new

My life is now worthwhile

I can't imagine me without you

When you caught me I was falling

You're love lifted me back on my feet

It was like you heard my calling

And you rush to set me free

When I found you I was blessed

And I will never leave you, I need you

Imagine me without you

I'd be lost and so confused

I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid

Without you there to see me through

Imagine me without you

Lord, you know it's just impossible

Because of you, it's all brand new

My life is now worthwhile

I can't imagine me without you

When I found you I was blessed

And I will never leave you, I need you oh

Imagine me without you

I'd be lost and so confused

I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid

Without you there to see me through

Imagine me without you

Lord, you know it's just impossible

Because of you, it's all brand new

My life is now worthwhile

I can't imagine me without you

I can't imagine me without you

Friends

I never thought before I have some amazing friends surround me.

To all my friends, I want to thank you for your support when I am down !!

Perhaps you even never know that the laugh we share each other heals me !

I love you ! I love you ! I love you !

Minus is better than zero

I. First Story

Yesterday, I heard someone speech about "minus is better than zero".

He let me knew that he has ever failed in his life. On the way he tried to reach his dream, he has got an accident. Too bad, he could not go ahead. He was angry, upset, and mad at God.

He felt that everything he did was useless.

His father came to him and said, "Son, when you put you efforts and sacrifice on the good things, it never leads you to nothing."   

Sometimes when you feel you already walk in the right path, God just take you to a place you never know because the efforts you did more suitable in God's plan than your plan.

II. Second Story

A man went forward and said that when he was younger, he would join the humor speech contest but his parents did not agree with his decision, they argued and finally won the competition. 

He choose to be his self. He is not live other life and expectation. He lives his life.

He realize he is just life once and he will make it enough.

"I choose to be my self. I don't want to live others' life and expectation. I live my life.

I just life once and I will make it enough".

Birthday picture!! \(^o^)/

Hi guys,

I hope you all are well.

As my promise, I publish some of my birthday celebration with lovely people.

:)

Sabar versi lain

Belakangan ini aku banyak belajar hal-hal yang baru maupun diingatkan tentang hal-hal lama atau perpaduannya. Kalau dalam antropologi mungkin bisa dibilang alkuturasi dan asimilasi.
Begitulah kurang lebih.

Semua yang aku pelajari membawa aku lebih bahagia. Ya, aku belajar memilih BAHAGIA untuk meresponi kejadian yang terjadi. Tentu aja ada kejadian yang pertamanya bikin sedih, kesal, dan jengkel. Kalau aku terus-terusan jengkel, hal itu membawaku semakin terpuruk. Aku memilih memikirkan apa yang aku punya dan bahagia karenanya.

Dari pemikiran tersebut, aku belajar untuk BERSYUKUR dengan apa yang aku miliki. Berfokus dengan apa yang ada dapat membuat yang ada itu berlipat ganda. Setiap yang kita miliki adalah bentuk rasa percaya Tuhan pada kita, termasuk kelemahan-kelemahan kita.

Aku bersyukur juga memiliki KELEMAHAN, dari situ aku dapat menyadari siapa yang tulus mengasihi aku.
Aku harus mengucapkan terima kasih untuk dua hari belakangan ini pada dua orang yang berbeda.
Terima kasih mau menerima kelemahanku, menunggu dan bahkan mau berjalan BERSAMA untuk membantuku.
:)

Aku menyimpulkan semua itu menjadi satu kata: SABAR (dengan pengertian yang berbeda dari pemahamanku sebelumnya).

Me again :)

Hello It's me again. Missed me? Ok, berhubung kemampuan bahasa Inggris gua menurun, mari menggunakan bahasa Indonesia saja. Baiklah, setelah dilihat-lihat, ditimang-timang, dan diperhatikan, jumlah post di Blog di Bulan Oktober dan November sangat berbeda. Bukannya minat menulis yang menurun, hanya saja baiknya gua menambah perbendaharaan kata-kata atau belajar merangkai kata sehingga bisa menghasilkan kalimat yang seaktual-aktualnya. So, I'm Back. Yes, ME...! Gua gak pernah merasa senyaman ini. Feel free to be my self,both good and bad. So this is not only about me. This is about us. Perfectly together forever. :)

for a friend out there

Don't cry and let me hug you.

I know you are trying your hardest.

Dua hari untuk selamanya :)

Apa yang dapat kamu lakukan dalam waktu dua hari dengan orang-orang yang kamu sayangi?
Apa yang ingin kamu wujudkan ketika kamu memiliki sisa waktu 48 jam dengan mereka?

Kami dapat berenang bersama. Menikmati setiap percikan air yang menyentuh kulit.
Kami dapat berjemur di bawah terik matahari dan merasakan kehangatannya.
Kemudian terkejut karena perubahan warna kulit kami.
Setelah itu aku menyadari bahwa kehangatan memang membawa perubahan :)
Kami dapat bernyanyi bersama. Membuat melodi-melodi indah seperti kenangan kami.
Kami dapat tertawa bersama bahkan pada hal-hal yang sebenarnya tidak lucu.
Kami menikmati malam bersama
dan dengan lugu memesan makanan dengan rasa pedas yang tidak tertahankan.
Kami tidur bersama-sama dan terkejut saat terbangun karena melihat wajah yang lain tepat di depan wajah kami.

Saat kami kehilangan arah untuk menentukan tujuan, kami selalu kembali ke awal dimana semua dimulai.

Ketika detik-detik terakhir akan terlewati, yakinlah itu bukan yang terakhir.

Doa akan tetap mempersatukan ketika bahkan ketika jarak memisahkan kita.
Doa adalah cara kita memeluk dari jauh...

I'm gonna miss our togetherness, guys..
(I already miss it)

:")

The answer

Finally I realize my last decision is wrong.
Differences is not about hating someone especially someone you love the most.
And guys, hating me will not make me stop loving you.
That's the very best decision I can make.
:)

good bye, don't cry, and smile :)

I'm not a perfect child, not a perfect sister, not a perfect cousin, not a perfect friend, and i don't even perfect for my self. I'm not perfect at everything that conenct me into relationships with other humans.
There are always problems with communication. I often can't tell exactly what's on mind to around.
Sometimes I can't understand what other's meant as they wish.  In other time, I talk about statements that I can't accept personally. My morality holds my opinions to somebody for the sake of keeping their heart. but I doesn't I can't be honest. I can be all I am when I am with people whom I trust and love. But my trust and love maybe can't be felt by them, especially when I express it. They've thought I hate and judge them with my feelings and that's just horrible because everything messed up. My feelings ruined everything. I won't regret anything. at least I try. I've been thinking about this and I'm sure they will be better without me. Let's go back to the past when you are all have never met me. When I wasn't a part of this group. Let's go back into the past when you all are fine with my absence. I'll go on my own way but please, just don't forget me.

knowing this my friend!

If you have something wrong in your heart, you better admit it rather than hide it.
You better talk to the people you dislike about your problem with his/her behavior than talk about it behind him/her.
You never find a solution if you never open your mind.
Don't be so childish, my friend.

two are better than one..

Sesuatu yang tidak mudah ketika saya harus berkonfrontasi dengan seseorang. Saya sendiri tidak menyukai konflik. Menjadi seorang yang asertif bukanlah kekuatan saya.Saya pribadi mengakui bahwa beberapa kali saya membiarkan seseorang 'menjajah' hak saya. Tentunya ada beberapa alasan mengapa saya melakukannya, entah karena merasa kasihan, tidak tega, atau memang tidak mau melawan.Tapi ada kalanya saya dapat berkonfrontasi dan menjadi keras.Saya tidak selemah yang mungkin Anda bayangkan.Namun saya akan dapat berkonfrontasi, pertama ketika saya merasa ada hal yang tidak dapat dikompromikan. Kedua, jika saya sudah merasa cukup dekat dengan orang yang bersangkutan, dengan harapan dia akan mencoba mengerti saya.

Amsal  28:13 “Siapa menyembunyikan pelanggarannya tidak akan beruntung, tetapi siapa mengakuinya dan meninggalkannya akan disayangi.”

Saya tidak menyangka, bahkan tidak pernah terpikirkan... bahwa jika pada akhirnya saya harus kehilangan seseorang karena kejujuran saya. Harapan saya untuk dimengerti sepertinya tidak akan terjadi. Sekarang saya baru paham bagaimana hubungan dapat rusak; lebih banyak karena kejujuran daripada kebohongan. Seperti kata Jhon Lenon, bagaimanapun lebih baik dibenci karena menjadi diri sendiri daripada harus berpura-pura untuk disayangi.

Pengkotbah 4:9-10 “Berdua lebih baik dari pada seorang diri, karena mereka menerima upah yang baik dalam jerih payah mereka. Karena kalau mereka jatuh, yang seorang mengangkat temannya, tetapi wai orang yang jatuh, yang tidak mempunyai orang lain untuk mengangkatnya!

Terima kasih atas semua proses pembelajaran yang sudah pernah Anda hadirkan.
Saya tidak akan pernah menganggap Anda musuh atau lawan bahkan ketika Anda menganggap saya demikian.
Tidak ada kata lagi yang saya akan coba katakan.

friends or foe? #part2

dear friend,
i don't know what are you thinking about conceived of friendship.
are friends is the recourse when you have no one else?
are friends more than a raiment for you?
or just ravens that eat all the seeds on storehouse?

you toil too much to be loved.
you array your words and it sounds so beautiful.
I supposed that was right, that was true.

I don't know why you always suspicious with others
You seem so insecure

Maybe this is a novitiate for our friendship
Or God just want me to abandon you
Therefore I'm thinking now
Are you deserve to accept my kindness when you behave so crude at me?
If you still beside me, I think you don't feel that is a privilege since I'm not a magnate just like what you expect

I don't have any intention for having a friendship with you but the sake of this friendship.

I convince my own way on God. He has the supreme rules. He wants me to forgive you although your words and behaviors hurt me so bad. I fairly want to give up.

a best friend~

we do shopping, singing, sometimes arguing, eating, talking, sharing things, sometimes gossiping xD, do different sport together, chatting, hang out, have fun, supporting each other, play, pray, serving child ministry together, we do crazy things, we are friend xD      

It's Okay. I pray you'll be recover soon.

Do you remember about my post days ago about gratitude?
am trying to do it. Espcesially today.
I'm tired of complaint. It doesn't change anything but exhausted mentally.

Today I have an appointment with my thesis advisor at 2 p.m in Campus.
So I went to Campus, you know by what? of course train... but... what make it special is I take ecomy class train because I don't want to be late and the fisrt train is the economy one ..

If you live in States, Japan, Aussie, Singapore, or other developed countries there will be no worry take the economy.. but in Indonesia... *sigh* just look the picture

economy class train

There was no more empty chair so I stand up.. a lot of smoking people there. I thank to the Lord for He let me sit in Stasiun Cilebut (next railway station after Stasiun Bogor). And.. I fell a sleep 'till Stasiun Sudirman.

Finally I arrived in Campus. I sent my thesis advisor a text message, told her I already in front of her room. No response.
After an hour, I had got a text message from her.. She said she did send me text message in the morning, told me she has a fever, need take some rest, and can't go to Campus. She really sorry and apologize about that.
I only replied: "It's okay, ma'am. I pray you'll be recover soon."


Yeah.. I learned to praise the Lord whatever the situation.
So I decided to go home by train but I must take transJakarta to reach Stasiun Cawang.
I bought the ticket. SUDDENLY my chairmate on Junior high school sent me bbm. She said she want to mourn our junior high school teacher. I said to her that I still in Jakarta, in front of Plaza Semanggi. She said she was in front of Plaza Semanggi too. She asked me to join her, back to Bogor by her car. WHAT A MIRACLE.

We talked about many things. She encouraged me to learn english more and more. She asked me to play piano in her new restaurant. After that, we went to Sinar Kasih, mourned.

I learned how to be thankful in any conditions. I learned how to not give up. I learned how to save friendship as well.

Thank God for this beatiful day. This is only by Your Grace.

can't be move?

hmm.. I wonder why I still writing a galau post.
Uh-huh.. maybe some of you think I'm an unstable, immature, and have an irrational thought.. Frankly, I am.
Everytime I want to move on there's a moment that make me stuck on this comfort zone..
It should be my weakness: Once I love someone, it will be forever.
I call it weakness because... love makes me weak.. give up to others.
But, I don't want to be like this forever... I'm sure love is make you strong not make you weak, right?

Promise (again), I will never write any galau post...!! note it...!!

Where are you?

This brain just like video tape.

When I sit, lay, walk, and whatever I do, sometime my brain plays some part of past.

Some bitter, some sweet.

And I just keep go on in the present because I can't go back to the past fixing my mistakes and going forward to the future either.

O.. how I miss your presences, JTEC.

You were there when I am down.

I was here when you need to share your feeling, good or bad.

and I enjoyed listening to you.

Why you have to dissapear and not giving me any clue to find you? 

I'm glad if you find your own way now, but sad we don't talking anymore..

You are my friend and always will be..

(mis)trust

 

Talking with others is still difficult for me.

It begins when I was kid

I have some friends and I told them about a boy that I like.

They told to others.

I told to someone that I used to think I could trust

but she's not.

Well, that makes me so quite about my self, feeling, and mind.

I keep it on me (and my journal day sometime :D)

It is so hard to hard to keep it all alone.

I couldn't share my feeling.

I couldn't share my mind.

And I was suffering uncounciously.

I met someone, I know him very well, I guess..

but not close.

I don't why, I can talk about my feeling like sadness, madness, happy, and hope to him.

Hmm.. but I feel shame about what I've told.

:(

On the other hand, I feel so great than ever.

It just like you trash your dump from home to outside.

Now your home is clean just like new.

You can renovate your home,

:)

Today,

I heard from 'C' that she heard my private story from 'K'..

hmm.. Frankly, I am a bit disapointed...

But now I am a new me.

It's alright.. I don't want to make "a mess in home" again.

Next time, before I tell about my privacy I should make sure that someone wouldn't tell anyone..

To the brother that I talk about my problems.

Thank you for listening.

Thank you for supporting.

Thank you for being there.

God bless you,

and your family,

always.

:)