Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Did you know?

The dreams and my screams

Have you ever feel disappointed? I bet the feeling is worse than mad. Disappoint is when your expectation is so much bigger than the fact.

I feel disappointed for about two months. I am in the prison of disappointed, in the prison that I have made for myself. But now.. I am no longer want to be in that prison.. 

I don't want to force myself to smile when my heart don't... I don't like pretending I am okay when I am not. I am tired of tears, disappointed, feeling bad.

It's time to raise up. To realize that this life is too precious to be wasted.

There is still a lot of dreams that I want to reach...

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

A right 'sign' to go

Crowded, dark, and windy.

That night I was behind a man who drive a motorbike.
We were going to my friend's office building in Kuningan.

I'm not a pretty much passenger who always look after the road. I trust the one who bring me to go. Trust is enough. Until something happen....

A car beside us hit the motorbike and bleed my foot.

I was shock, panic, scared.

I have seen so much accident, in the movie and also in real life, but I never wish that someday I will be the victim.

The car gave 'left' sign when the driver still wanted to go straight. How come a kind of`a very stupid person like that can get his driving license????? *mad mode on*

I don't mean to blame anyone. Really. 

I just want to thank God, I still have my foot here. 

This accident can be done not only in road but also in real life especially in love life. If you are now approaching someone or in a relationship, please give the true sign where you really want to go. Then people around you can understand what should they do. Go to the left, right, straight, or just... stop.


February – Month of LOVE (Friendship Love)

Having a psychology issue always need more effort to have friends, even just a friend, or close friend(s). Blessed me, I have improved myself - when people around me with their kindness trying to get close to me, I brave enough to welcoming them!
At the first time, I think, “How if I look silly on their eyes?”
“How if they can’t accept my presence”
“What they will do with my unfunny joke?”

And proudly write a story about ‘How I met KamiKita’ to bomce, cinday, gadsam, aloince, dance, rince, and me also J here it goes:
If you all remember, it was a shining afternoon. I sat around you, guys. Waiting for class? Hmm, at first, YES! But… You all persuade me to skip the class for reasons! Hahaa. But it’s okay. I have another class with you all. An everlasting class of friendship starts from that day.
Before we left Hall C, I let you all know about my broken heart with my ex boyfriend. I broke up with him in 14 February when people call it a day of love. Never mind, that is not my point anyway. Then we are all went to Plaza Semanggi to lunch, talking each other, window shopping, and forget about the class.
Day by day, we are getting closer. I know you all better. Maybe not closer just like you are all each other. But I thankful that you guys trust me enough to tell your secrets. And secret makes friend stronger.

Actually not only secret, every struggle we have, made us has more attachment. One day, I have a conflict with one of you. At that time, I though like this: “You don’t understand me. You are a very egoist person. Why in this earth there is a person like you? You are just like a heartless girl. You don’t deserve a friendship if you don’t appreciate your friend!”

Month by month, we didn’t contact. We just like a stranger, cold and uncaring, act like we didn’t know each other.

And sometime I blamed myself for that and though it would be better if I went out from all of you just like at first time. One of you, said, that was not totally because of me so then I didn’t need to walk out. 

Then, I stayed.

Finally, we met in one of our friend and you talk to me as usual just like nothing at all. Actually, I felt awkward at that moment. But deepest in my heart, I felt happy.

And now all is clear between us. No more angry, hate, or negative emotions.
She is now the only one who walks in when the others walk out. I proudly say that the one I thought my enemy is become my best friend.

For you all, you are the priceless gift from God. I’m glad we can meet and improve each other. Keep our friendship will last until we become grandma. Hahaha.

And to one of you that I don’t know where you are, please stay.

Just stay.


another chapter.

After through a rough season of life - valley of darkness - I feel relief and can breath again.  I met someone a couple year ago. He seemed...