Perfect month to close the year

For some people, especially Christian, maybe Christmas time is the moment that they are waiting.
Christmas can be a tradition, a party, an event, a moment to meet relatives who long time no see.

And some people lost the meaning Christmas itself.
And maybe, I was one of them.

But this year, Christmas has a different meaning for me.

If you clearly understand all the post I wrote in this year, then you will see this year is not the easy one. It's the hardest yet the most beautiful year I ever have so far.

The Selfish, self-centered, egoist - me.
The things God wants to expose in my life.

He talked to me in early year of 2014,
but I didn't listen.
He talked to me again in March of 2014,
I listened but I forgot it.
He talked to me (again) in May 2014,
I pretend I didn't hear.
Every month, He never gives up, trying to talk to me.
So this December, I don't want to runaway anymore.

Listening to Him and do that He wants, that's the best thing what I can do right now.
For the one who really know me perfectly is Him alone. I believe His training for me is the best way to shape me.

He changes my perspective about any kind of relationships.  

I used to think that any relationship, including friendship only consist of happiness. Happiness should be beautiful, no pain.
And it is funny when I see, happiness no longer comes from beautiful things but the pain, the hurt, the scars.
  

A bitterness no longer be a bitterness but sweetness.

I can see the one who wants to protect me sometime just get angry with me because I did something wrong while I think, if someone love others, they should be kind and no need to show tension.

I can see the one who says 'I love you' can be not really mean the words.
The one who act sweet, but actually the their sweetness only can bring me down because they are just not mean the behavior.

The truth is when we love someone, then we will think what is the best for the one we love, isn't it?

Then we will fight the world, anything, that can makes the one we love to be worse. Because we need to see the one we love, grow up, better, and be the best of their-selves. Am I right?

I'm sure I am right!

What I learn is "To love others means to lose yourself."

I think this is what God wants me to listen and do. When I say, "I love you, Lord." means I need to lose my self and do what He is asking to me although I don't want to.

I hope this Christmas will be the perfect time for me to understand and 'die' then let Christ born in my heart, in my life.