Forgive and keep moving

I didn't understand what was going on both in my heart and brain; I, too, was a woman in love.
But nothing much I could do when the one I love and respect is disrespect me in return.
I really did feel unworthy. Thinking that I am a foolish.
I took a deep breath, holding in anger, upset, but there was no escape.
I thought I might be convinced, or, at least, received some explanations. But nothing existed. Everything was a lie.
Yes, nothing much I could do.
Even if I did something, what would change?

And it is too naive to pretend that everything is fine. The fact is everything change and different now, and actually I hate to realize it, and it takes me finally made a decision, and choose my own path.

But what is next then? Where do I should go? Which path I should choose?
The only place I know to run is my Shelter, Jesus Christ. And Jesus always teach to do good, doesn't he? Because he wants to bring out the best in every people who believe in Him.
Love is still love. Love is also consist of responsibility to forgive others unlimited. This is what Jesus told me at the very first time when I feel hurt.

44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, - Matthew 5:44 (NKJV)

But I am only human, and I know I need extra strength to do those things. I admit, I can't overcome it with my own self. Even for me, it was hard to lift this knee and this head. Sometime I ask Him, how come You ask me to do that favor?
I discover and He let me found some interesting answers for that questions. First, I realize, this sinner, me, He has washed away my sin. It remind me that I am not better than anyone else since we, people, are sinner. Second, a quote from by Paulo Coelho

"Sometimes, certain of God’s blessing arrive by shattering all the windows." 

I still believe there is a blessing in disguise in every shattering windows. And also from Rome 8:28 (NIV)

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose 

I have no choice, but to believe that everything happens to bring goodness. Many verses in bible tell me so. Those are more than enough to convince me about that. He wants me to love others like He loves me.

Knelt down, bending forward, hand pressed together in prayer. A prayer which magically strengthen me to face the days when I must meet the person who hurt me, blessing him, even hoping the goodness also will come his life. I really hope he will get his best in the future, to be success, wealth, and healthy.

Maybe it takes time to fix a broken heart, but I don't mind to give all the broken pieces to Jesus, so He can do beyond what I think. And if something bad will back, I don't mind as well. On the contrary, I will need it. It could show me the right path I should follow.

The good news is I don't have much time to regret, nor revenge. My own war is still continue outside, I still have to fight for people in need. And as Albert Einstein wrote to his son, "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving".

So I keep moving then.

:)