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Comfort with the uncomfortable - Speech BM 4 - Toastmaster

Comfort with the uncomfortable 

Imagine that in front of you there is a mirror. Look at yourself. The mirror starts to reflect who you are right now. See deeply and it will tell you, who you were in the past. You will remember what you have done. See your eyes, and it will show you who you want to be.

Type of personality

So now I ask you, who you are?

What personality do you have?

No one has the same personality even twins. But some people tend to have some similar traits. Some people can be so extrovert and the others can be so quiet. Some people like to be with others, some people like to be alone.

There is a popular theory about personality named DISC. They determine people to 4 characteristics.

D for Dominance, an active people. Dominating, directing, and driving people.

I for Influence, an active person. Inspiring, impressing, interactive, interested in people.

S for Steady, a passive person. Stable, shy, security-oriented.

C for Compliance, a passive person. Careful, compliant, calculating.

Dominance and Influence are more focus on project, plans, and program. Steady and Compliance are more focus on relationship, emotion, and caring.

Now, may I know what personality do you have?

Comfort zone

It is good to know yourself. But some people make their personality as their excuse to keep on going in their comfort zone. For example, people tend to say: “I am dominant, it is natural if I am bossy”, “I am an influence, it is normal for me to talk a lot and people have to listen to me”, “I am a steady person, I will never can stand in front of people”, “I am compliance, how if I am not good enough to do the presentation? Oh I’m so worried”

Me, as a Steady and Compliance combination personality, I prefer not to verbalize feelings, will give in rather than argue, resistant to change, and lack of enthusiasm. What a perfect combination to be stagnant. Maybe that is why it takes a long time for me to continue my basic manual.

I have a very comfort zone in my carrier now. My bosses are really nice, the environment is very friendly, the benefit is also good, and the job desk is no longer difficult. I feel very comfortable and bored at the same time.

Everything has changed when my friend told me that he has accepted work in overseas. He makes me remember my dreams that I have written when I still in college such as travel the world, have my own happy family, and have my own company.    

The advantage if we’re out of comfort zone

To be relaxed without an effort to develop myself more is a comfort zone. It may look comfortable and it is a beautiful place but we will never grow there. It’s a matter of survival. Comfort zone is just a resting place not a destination. And to get out from the resting place means you need to do the opposite. From restful to hardworking. From comfortable to uncomfortable. From no difficulty to facing some difficulties. I believe, as the reward, we will get the opposite as well. The reward is bigger than the suffering we may feel.

So now the challenges of Steady and Compliance like me are to be more positive, not to worry too much, be bold and strong, be confident, fearless, and be more enthusiastic. Turn the fighting mode not to compete with others but be ourselves. Try to be comfortable in an uncomfortable situation after you feel comfortable, prepare yourself to the next uncomfortable zone. 

“Know who you are, and be it. Know what you want, and go out and get it!”

The invisible hand

I believe of the invisible hand that open the door I cannot see. 

Did you know?

The dreams and my screams

Have you ever feel disappointed? I bet the feeling is worse than mad. Disappoint is when your expectation is so much bigger than the fact.

I feel disappointed for about two months. I am in the prison of disappointed, in the prison that I have made for myself. But now.. I am no longer want to be in that prison.. 

I don't want to force myself to smile when my heart don't... I don't like pretending I am okay when I am not. I am tired of tears, disappointed, feeling bad.

It's time to raise up. To realize that this life is too precious to be wasted.

There is still a lot of dreams that I want to reach...

A right 'sign' to go

Crowded, dark, and windy.

That night I was behind a man who drive a motorbike.

We were going to my friend's office building in Kuningan.

I'm not a pretty much passenger who always look after the road. I trust the one who bring me to go. Trust is enough. Until something happen....

A car beside us hit the motorbike and bleed my foot.

I was shock, panic, scared.

I have seen so much accident, in the movie and also in real life, but I never wish that someday I will be the victim.

The car gave 'left' sign when the driver still wanted to go straight. How come a kind of`a very stupid person like that can get his driving license????? *mad mode on*

I don't mean to blame anyone. Really. 

I just want to thank God, I still have my foot here. 

This accident can be done not only in road but also in real life especially in love life. If you are now approaching someone or in a relationship, please give the true sign where you really want to go. Then people around you can understand what should they do. Go to the left, right, straight, or just... stop.

:)

February – Month of LOVE (Friendship Love)

Having a psychology issue always need more effort to have friends, even just a friend, or close friend(s). Blessed me, I have improved myself - when people around me with their kindness trying to get close to me, I brave enough to welcoming them!

At the first time, I think, “How if I look silly on their eyes?”

“How if they can’t accept my presence”

“What they will do with my unfunny joke?”

And proudly write a story about ‘How I met KamiKita’ to bomce, cinday, gadsam, aloince, dance, rince, and me also J here it goes:

If you all remember, it was a shining afternoon. I sat around you, guys. Waiting for class? Hmm, at first, YES! But… You all persuade me to skip the class for reasons! Hahaa. But it’s okay. I have another class with you all. An everlasting class of friendship starts from that day.

Before we left Hall C, I let you all know about my broken heart with my ex boyfriend. I broke up with him in 14 February when people call it a day of love. Never mind, that is not my point anyway. Then we are all went to Plaza Semanggi to lunch, talking each other, window shopping, and forget about the class.

Day by day, we are getting closer. I know you all better. Maybe not closer just like you are all each other. But I thankful that you guys trust me enough to tell your secrets. And secret makes friend stronger.

Actually not only secret, every struggle we have, made us has more attachment. One day, I have a conflict with one of you. At that time, I though like this: “You don’t understand me. You are a very egoist person. Why in this earth there is a person like you? You are just like a heartless girl. You don’t deserve a friendship if you don’t appreciate your friend!”

Month by month, we didn’t contact. We just like a stranger, cold and uncaring, act like we didn’t know each other.

And sometime I blamed myself for that and though it would be better if I went out from all of you just like at first time. One of you, said, that was not totally because of me so then I didn’t need to walk out. 

Then, I stayed.

Finally, we met in one of our friend and you talk to me as usual just like nothing at all. Actually, I felt awkward at that moment. But deepest in my heart, I felt happy.

And now all is clear between us. No more angry, hate, or negative emotions.

She is now the only one who walks in when the others walk out. I proudly say that the one I thought my enemy is become my best friend.

For you all, you are the priceless gift from God. I’m glad we can meet and improve each other. Keep our friendship will last until we become grandma. Hahaha.

And to one of you that I don’t know where you are, please stay.

Just stay.

Stay.