Don't be discouraged!

Skyscraperland is so horrible. I think no one would like to enter this place but I believe in far away, there will be a very wonderful place.

So in this challenging time, I hear a lot of screams, cries, and so on. I also have a lot of fear and doubtful inside. I am kind of optimistic person who always see the positive side. But it doesn't enough to calm me down. I just see my self just not like me. I am changing into someone weak, weaker than I ever think. and I am surprised. Especially when I knew that I failed in my first case examination. In this desperation time, I am humble enough to confess to God that I have no power anymore to stand. And I kneel, bowing ask Him a favor to lead the path. Ask Him a spirit to fix my eyes to know what He wants me to be.

He teaches me how not to count on human.

He teaches me to control my words.

He teaches me to listen to His words.

He teaches me to have endurance and patience.

He teaches me to trust in Him alone.

He teaches me to be still on Him.

Thank God, you never leave me behind. 

"So as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. May you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy and giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." - Colossians 1:10-14

 

Fall in this place

Fall in this place (by Planetshakers)

Take me to that place, Lord, where there's nothing else but me and You

Longing for Your presence, I know that You're calling me to You

Here I stand and long for Your embrace

Nothing else could ever take Your place

Come Holy Spirit, fall in this place

I need more and more of you

Fill me again with the power of Your Spirit

Lord, I'm crying out for more and more of You 

Kopi & Buku

COFFEE have been my best companion lately.
Itu semua karena aku tipe orang yang sangat mudah tidur dimanapun aku berada. Istilah anak-anak jaman sekarang "Pelor" a.k.a "nemPel moLor". Bahkan di motor, aku juga bisa tidur. Yes, itu bahaya sih tapi rasa ngantuknya susah banget di lawan. Hampir berkali-kali ngerasa mau jatuh dari motor karena sangkin ngantuknya dalam 1 jam perjalanan Sudirman-Cilandak. Ngantuk kali ini disebabkan oleh banyak begadang baca buku. Solanya aku mendapat saran yang useful banget dari pembimbing kasuistik periode pertama: BACA BUKU.

BUKU memang bener-bener jendela dunia. Banyak hal-hal yang belum aku tau akhirnya jadi tau. Terkadang aku baca buku sampe ga sadar ketiduran, sampe pengen muntah, sampe penasaran gak berenti-berenti. Tapi ada saat dimana ga pengen nyentuh buku sama sekali karena muak. Haha..

H-3 sebelum aku case-conference. Masih terlalu banyak buku yang rasanya pengen aku baca. Artinya, masih banyak kopi yang harus aku minum supaya mata bisa melek dan konsentrasi. Aku jadi kagum sama kakak aku dulu. Pas kakak aku masih kuliah, dia bisa melek subuh-subuh belajar sendiri. Bisa tidur larut malam belajar sendiri. What a great role model!

Kopi & buku adalah pasangan yang serasi. Dasar manusia, masih saja merasa ada kurangnya. Aku berpikir kalau kopi & buku akan terasa lengkap jika ada teman diskusi. Dari diskusi, aku bisa dapet banyak insight dari apa yang orang lain pikirkan mengenai apa yang dibaca. Sayangnya hal tersebut gak aku dapat dari orang yang paling aku harapkan di periode ini. Tidak apa-apa, paling tidak aku belajar mencukupkan diriku dengan apa yang ada.

Kopi & Buku, terima kasih :)