"Lu mikirin apa?" katanya sambil lirik kaca spion dalam mobil.
"Mikir gemana gua bisa selesain kuliah ini dengan baik." jawab gua sedikit bohong.
"Tapi kerutan di kening lu gak mengatakan itu." dia sadar masih ada yang gua sembunyiin.
"Lagi mikir prioritas aja. Kayaknya banyak hal yang mesti gua ubah... bla.. bla.. bla.." akhirnya jujur ngasih tau arti kerutan gua.
In this last 4,4 years I've spent my Saturday with teaching. I love teaching. I love my kids.
I sacrifice my weekend that I could spent with my friends. I sacrifice my social life.
I don't regret anything, I got worth return - improve my personality, teaching skill, financial independence on College. But now, I would like to say it's enough.
My friend said, "Really? You don't have any passion in teaching."
"I just want to make my life balance! I lost about 212 Saturdays" replied me.
"I've spent this last 2 years in the forest without weekend." argued him.
"We can't compare your life with mine. It's not apple to apple."
Yes. I can't compare my life with him. I'm sure, the one that I need for my new life routine is rest, reading more books, and improve my social life.
So I decided this November will be the last month I teach on my current music school.
Itulah salah satu arti kerutan di kening gua malam itu meskipun sebenarnya masih banyak hal lagi.
I think about my dreams which fly away and I almost forget.
On my way to reach my dreams I met some supporters that return into distractions.
Kayaknya kalau ada kaca mata kuda sepertinya bagus juga supaya bisa fokus liat ke depan.
Kaca mata kuda bagus juga sih tapi gak efektif.
Kalau gua jadi kuda, gua akan milih yang duduk di atas gua yang mengendalikan gua.
It means I prefer God control me than that kacamata kuda.
Ibarat kuda, sekarang ini lagi banyak banget cambukkan yang gua terima supaya gak belok ke sana ke mari enggak karuan.
Mungkin, keputusan inipun salah satu cambukkan untuk ngasih petunjuk, sudah saatnya pindah arah.
Cambukkan yang ini enggak terlalu sakit. Cuman akan berpengaruh sama my financial condition karena kalau untuk improving skill ngajar masih bisa diterapkan di Sekolah Minggu.
Kalau cambukkan yang lain, sakit sih. Sakit banget malahan.
'Kudanya' cuma berharap kalau Yang Tunganggin Kudanya kasih 'makanan' yang bisa bikin kuat dan 'istirahat' sampai kudanya tiba ke tempat tujuan Tuannya.
*kedippin mata sama Babeh di Atas* ;-)
Sunday, October 5, 2014
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