Bye 2014!

It only takes second to be arrive in 2015. Personally, I do not set some ambitious goals. Last year, I made only 5 goals in 2014. I only accomplished 3 of them. So then, I make only 3 goals for 2015 that I hope it will come true.

There was a lot things happen in this year. Broken dreams, mistakes, and sorrow that I faced in about last 1,5 years.. Well, believe me, it was not easy. Maybe I look okay outside. Smile all the time. Laugh. Make some jokes. But inside? Who knows? 

We never know the scars behind someone's smile. 

Enough for sorrow. Enough is enough. Tomorrow is new year and it's time to let go the past. Let go the broken dreams. And Let God do his surprise for me in 2015.

Bye, 2014.

Hello, 2015!

I'm ready for the next adventure :)

Ada saat dimana kita tidak menemukan kata-kata yang tepat untuk menggambarkan perasaan, mengucapkannya, atau sekedar menulisnya. Seakan-akan kita baru pertama kali merasakannya sehingga tidak tahu apa namanya. Sehingga kita hanya mampu diam.

Waktu berlalu terlalu cepat. Orang-orang mulai berubah. Begitu juga dengan diri sendiri.

Terkadang kita tidak mampu menjelaskan perubahan.

Ada saat dimana kita kehilangan akal untuk menggambarkan apa yang terjadi. Terkadang kita berubah menjadi sesuatu yang tidak kita sukai. Tapi terkadang kita juga puas dengan apa yang telah berhasil kita kerjakan.

Terkadang kita terlalu keras dengan diri sendiri. Kita tidak membiarkan diri kita merasakan apa yang seharusnya dirasa. Kita tidak memberikan waktu pada diri kita untuk bersedih, walau hanya sekedar untuk meratapi kesedihan yang telah kita alami.

Terkadang kita terlalu keras dengan diri sendiri. Kita tidak membiarkan diri kita merasa bangga dengan apa yang telah kita raih. "Masih banyak orang yang melakukannya dengan cara yang lebih baik.", "Ini bukan apa-apa.", "Masih banyak hal yang harus aku kerjakan."

Terkadang kita terlalu keras dengan diri sendiri. Kita tidak memberikan maaf kepada diri sendiri ketika kita melakukan kesalahan. Padahal kita mampu memberikan maaf kepada orang lain.

Terkadang kita tidak mau mengakui bahwa 'terkadang' sebenarnya adalah 'sering'.
Terkadang kita tidak mau mengakui bahwa 'kita' itu sebenarnya adalah 'aku'.

Minggu Terakhir dan Berita yang Mengejutkan

Di hari Minggu terakhir ini, (mungkin) seluruh dunia dikejutkan dengan berita hilangnya Pesawat Air Asia QZ 8501. Sampai pada malam ketika aku mengetik post ini, beritanya masih sama. Pesawat belum ditemukan. Pencarian dihentikan sementara karena cuaca tidak memungkinkan.
Aku sedikit lega karena Negara-Negara sahabat mau ikut membantu Indonesia mencari pesawat tersebut.

Semangat untuk semua tim yang ikut mencari pesawat ini!

Pasti sulit rasanya untuk keluarga dan orang-orang terdekat ketika mengetahui berita ini. Melalui post ini, aku mau mengungkapkan dukungan dan doa kepada keluarga agar selalu dikuatkan oleh Tuhan YME. Aku juga ikut berdoa supaya pesawat Air Asia QZ 8501 segera ditemukan dan semua penumpang beserta kru dapat selamat. Amin.

Christmas Time!

So this is Christmas.
And I always love Christmas.

Happy Birthday, my best friend ever, Jesus Christ!

Love you.
XOXO

Forgive and keep moving

I didn't understand what was going on both in my heart and brain; I, too, was a woman in love.
But nothing much I could do when the one I love and respect is disrespect me in return.
I really did feel unworthy. Thinking that I am a foolish.
I took a deep breath, holding in anger, upset, but there was no escape.
I thought I might be convinced, or, at least, received some explanations. But nothing existed. Everything was a lie.
Yes, nothing much I could do.
Even if I did something, what would change?

And it is too naive to pretend that everything is fine. The fact is everything change and different now, and actually I hate to realize it, and it takes me finally made a decision, and choose my own path.

But what is next then? Where do I should go? Which path I should choose?
The only place I know to run is my Shelter, Jesus Christ. And Jesus always teach to do good, doesn't he? Because he wants to bring out the best in every people who believe in Him.
Love is still love. Love is also consist of responsibility to forgive others unlimited. This is what Jesus told me at the very first time when I feel hurt.

44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, - Matthew 5:44 (NKJV)

But I am only human, and I know I need extra strength to do those things. I admit, I can't overcome it with my own self. Even for me, it was hard to lift this knee and this head. Sometime I ask Him, how come You ask me to do that favor?
I discover and He let me found some interesting answers for that questions. First, I realize, this sinner, me, He has washed away my sin. It remind me that I am not better than anyone else since we, people, are sinner. Second, a quote from by Paulo Coelho

"Sometimes, certain of God’s blessing arrive by shattering all the windows." 

I still believe there is a blessing in disguise in every shattering windows. And also from Rome 8:28 (NIV)

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose 

I have no choice, but to believe that everything happens to bring goodness. Many verses in bible tell me so. Those are more than enough to convince me about that. He wants me to love others like He loves me.

Knelt down, bending forward, hand pressed together in prayer. A prayer which magically strengthen me to face the days when I must meet the person who hurt me, blessing him, even hoping the goodness also will come his life. I really hope he will get his best in the future, to be success, wealth, and healthy.

Maybe it takes time to fix a broken heart, but I don't mind to give all the broken pieces to Jesus, so He can do beyond what I think. And if something bad will back, I don't mind as well. On the contrary, I will need it. It could show me the right path I should follow.

The good news is I don't have much time to regret, nor revenge. My own war is still continue outside, I still have to fight for people in need. And as Albert Einstein wrote to his son, "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving".

So I keep moving then.

:)

Have a little faith by Mitch Albom

"Where there is a sweet, there is an ant.", said one of my friends looking at me staring and take steps at a book corner.
There is not really many books there, I had once take a book from it but not finish read it... give up maybe? So I return it, and try to find another book.

Have a little faith finally got my attention because of the title. My mind asking a question. Why just a little? Then I look the back cover and interested! It is say "As is often the case with faith, i thought I was being asked a favor. Actually, I was being given one..."
The contradiction on that sentences made me decided to read that book.
I am as not a fast reader, can proudly finish the book on 7 days. lol.

Have a little faith is biography of two people with very different background. Micth Albom can combine it perfectly. I love his writing skill. Easy yet deep.

Have a little faith teach me the secret of happiness and how faith woks. It teach me also how to appreciate others people's life, choice, anything that different from us because everyone is unique and our knowledge is limited. And it need faith to believe that every diversity brings goodness in God's masterpiece of life.

And the answer of my question: Why just a little faith?

Faith is necessarily needed in our daily life. No matter how small or how big faith is. Faith is faith. And faith really do something in our life.

The book is worth to read. And recommended!

School :)

This is a very common question for me wherever I go: 'How's School?'

What do you expect me to answer? Good? Fine? All right?

Hmm.. I can't find a word to describe but cool...!

At first, it was, yes, frustrating, but by the time, everything goes friendly - the lecture, students, and even every task that I have to finish. Oops. Sorry, I lie about the task. Hihii.. At least I enjoy it anyway.

Having new environment means have some new demands. To deal with it, I think I really need social support who has  a lot of common variances with me, which is the students. What I love about them is, we support each others especially in the most difficult subject. And they are 'crazy'. The truth is when you have crazy friends, you have everything! <3

I'm gonna share some of our pictures here:

Psychometric!

World Mental Health Day @Kempinski

Clinician Wanna Be..!!

Next year will be my 2nd Semester. Hopefully it will running well and.. I hope all of us 'becoming' a psychologist in 2016. Let's Hope!

Perfect month to close the year

For some people, especially Christian, maybe Christmas time is the moment that they are waiting.
Christmas can be a tradition, a party, an event, a moment to meet relatives who long time no see.

And some people lost the meaning Christmas itself.
And maybe, I was one of them.

But this year, Christmas has a different meaning for me.

If you clearly understand all the post I wrote in this year, then you will see this year is not the easy one. It's the hardest yet the most beautiful year I ever have so far.

The Selfish, self-centered, egoist - me.
The things God wants to expose in my life.

He talked to me in early year of 2014,
but I didn't listen.
He talked to me again in March of 2014,
I listened but I forgot it.
He talked to me (again) in May 2014,
I pretend I didn't hear.
Every month, He never gives up, trying to talk to me.
So this December, I don't want to runaway anymore.

Listening to Him and do that He wants, that's the best thing what I can do right now.
For the one who really know me perfectly is Him alone. I believe His training for me is the best way to shape me.

He changes my perspective about any kind of relationships.  

I used to think that any relationship, including friendship only consist of happiness. Happiness should be beautiful, no pain.
And it is funny when I see, happiness no longer comes from beautiful things but the pain, the hurt, the scars.
  

A bitterness no longer be a bitterness but sweetness.

I can see the one who wants to protect me sometime just get angry with me because I did something wrong while I think, if someone love others, they should be kind and no need to show tension.

I can see the one who says 'I love you' can be not really mean the words.
The one who act sweet, but actually the their sweetness only can bring me down because they are just not mean the behavior.

The truth is when we love someone, then we will think what is the best for the one we love, isn't it?

Then we will fight the world, anything, that can makes the one we love to be worse. Because we need to see the one we love, grow up, better, and be the best of their-selves. Am I right?

I'm sure I am right!

What I learn is "To love others means to lose yourself."

I think this is what God wants me to listen and do. When I say, "I love you, Lord." means I need to lose my self and do what He is asking to me although I don't want to.

I hope this Christmas will be the perfect time for me to understand and 'die' then let Christ born in my heart, in my life.

Surrounded by Angels

Angels are all people around me.

Thank you.

When all is over

Idk, if you ever feel 'empty' inside when you surrounded by many people. Maybe that's what I feel now. Actually, I am thankful because feel empty is also a feeling because if that is not a feeling, I'm not sure I still can feel or no.

When all is over, it is a moment that I have no idea anymore how to celebrate life.
When all is over, it is when I do not have strength to lift neither my knees and head up.
And it makes me cannot walk anymore.
When all is over, it is a moment when someone I think he is the reason I still believe there is a hope, turns into the reason I see no hope anymore.

But when all is over, actually is the message from God above to say something.
To believe it is the right time to walk again, to start again, to build the greater thing.

And it is the common secret when a great thing always comes from the difficulties. A great thing will never come easy.

Jesus Reinstates Peter

John 21: 15-17

15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter,

“Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?”

He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.

Unashamed - Starfield

I have not much to offer You
Not near what You deserve
But still I come because Your cross has placed in me my worth

Oh, Christ my King Of sympathy whose wounds secure my peace
Your grace extends to call me friend
Your mercy sets me free

And I know I'm weak I know I'm unworthy to call upon Your name

But because of grace, because of Your mercy

I stand here unashamed

I can't explain this kind of love
I'm humbled and amazed that You'd come down from heavens heights
And greet me face to face

Here I am at Your feet
In my brokeness complete

At your feet.. Incomplete

Peter

Mathew 26: 33-35

33 Peter replied, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.”34 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.”
35 But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the other disciples said the same.

Mathew 27: 69-74

69 Now Peter was sitting out in the courtyard, and a servant girl came to him. “You also were with Jesus of Galilee,” she said.70 But he denied it before them all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.71 Then he went out to the gateway, where another servant girl saw him and said to the people there, “This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth.”72 He denied it again, with an oath: “I don’t know the man!”73 After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.”74 Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!”Immediately a rooster crowed.   

Kampus dan Line!

Satu hari setelah deadline pengumpulan draft final manual pengembangan alat ukur. Banyak banget temen-temen yang gak masuk karena kecapean begadang. Tapi gua beruntung sih masuk, karena diskusi di kelas kode etik hari ini (kemarin) seru banget. Selesai kelas dapat kabar kalau feedback sudah dikirim. Amazing! Bikin manualnya selama 4 bulan dan sang dosen memberi feedback hanya dalam semalam! HAHA.. Semua anggota kelompok gue keliatan mau istirahat dulu jadi kami menunda revisi sampai malam.

Berhubung pengen banget refreshing, dan pas banget ada acara Line lucky draw, gua dan beberapa teman mau ikutan. Pingin dapet boneka Cony atau Brown. Pertamanya males banget ikutan karena ngantrinya panjang banget. Jadi gua minta Teddy yang main terus bonekanya buat gua. HAHAA..

Dia sih bilang iya-iya aja. Tapi ternyata dia bilang begitu ke hampir semua orang di kelas. LOL.

Kali ini promo nya line sebenarnya bukan games let's get rich tapi line dictionary. Jadi habis download harus share chat minimal ke 3 temen yang ada di line juga. Gua sama Fitria duluan ke Hall C untuk ngantri karena yang lain masih ngerjain revisi. Tapi di hall C ga ada wi-fi (T,T). Akhirnya minta Teddy turun dan bawain bolt nya Irene.

Sekitar 40 menit ngantri untuk muterin lucky draw...

Pilihan hadiahnya: Boneka besar, boneka kecil, kepala boneka, dan pulpen.

...

Dan saat gua muterin Lucky draw nya.. Gua mendapatkan...

...

Pulpen! (T.T)

Fitria sama Teddy cuma bisa kasian sambil senyum aja ngeliatin. Dan dengan pedenya di antriannya Teddy nanya, mau apa nih hadiahnya?

Gua dan Fitri tentu aja jawab: Boneka!

Teddy iya-iya aja masih dengan gayanya yang pede.

Dan pas giliran dia muterin lucky draw, dia dapet apa coba? Hihihii..

...

Pulpen juga!! 

Hahaha.. Lucu banget!

Ya mungkin belum rejeki yaahh.. Sebenarnya kalau gua dapat boneka, mau gua kasih juga ke temen gua yang ulang tahun.. Belum kasih kado soalnya.. Jadi akhirnya ngasih pulpen itu aja deh.. xD

Kalau dipikir-pikir, asik juga kuliah begini lagi. Lucu :3

Color Blind

When the world is seeing yellow

I only see grey

When everybody sees the rainbow

I'm stuck in the rain

You take a little piece of me

Every time you leave

I don't think that I'll ever find that silver lining

Or a reason to smile

You know I used to paint such vibrant dreams

Now I'm colorblind colorblind

When did my heart

Get so full of the never mind never mind

Did you know

That you stole the only thing I needed

Always black and white in my eyes

I'm colorblind

Ain't it funny that you managed

To just wash away

Even pictures that you're not in

Have started to fade

I tried to play my favorite songs

But I can't sing along

The words don't feel the same

You've taken all the best things from me

And thrown them away

You know I used to paint such vibrant dreams

Now I'm colorblind colorblind

When did my heart

get so full of the never mind never mind

Did you know

That you stole the only thing I needed

Always black and white in my eyes

I'm colorblind

I'll wait

For roses to be red again

And I hate

That you took my blue from the ocean

Give me back green greens and golden's

My purples my blues you stole them

How long will I be broken

You know I used to paint such vibrant dreams

Now I'm colorblind colorblind

When did my heart

get so full of the never mind never mind

Did you know

That you stole the only thing I needed

Only black and white in my eyes

I'm colorblind

It's only black and white in my eyes

I'm colorblind

Read more: Amber Riley - Colorblind Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

Hasil Belajar Statistik

Huaaa.. Akhirnya selesai juga blok tiga dengan mata kuliah STATISTIK!
Sebenarnya seru banget mata kuliah ini, gua selalu menganggap kalau si peneliti (gua) adalah seorang detektif yang harus memecahkan kasus dengan satu pertanyaan: "Dengan metode statistik apakah kasus ini dapat diselesaikan?" dan dengan kekuatan bulan hasil belajar, gua menjawab tiap soal di kertas UTS dan UAS. Untuk UTS materinya tentang statistik dasar dan metode non parametrik. Kalau UAS materinya tentang Multiple Regression dan Faktor Analisis. Untuk Faktor Analisis dibahasnya cuma satu kali pertemuan dan dua hari kemudian langsung ujian. What do you expect? Hahaa..
Gua selalu bersyukur sama Tuhan di atas sana yang selalu dampingin juga baik waktu belajar maupun pas ujian-nya (meskipun belum tau hasilnya gemana).

Di kelas, gua selalu berusaha memahami setiap kalimat yang keluar dari mulut profesor, doktor, dan para pengajar.. Tapi siapalah saya ini yang hanya bisa menghubungkan kalimat mereka dengan relationship. Please, predikat galau buat gua, gak mau gua bawa-bawa ke program S2 ini. HAHA..
Tapi ada aja yang menangkap kegalauan gua. Mmm.. Ralat. Gua bukan galau, gua hanya sedikit puitis dan melankolis, LOL. Jadi ini hasil quotes gua yang dirangkum sama Medina :')

Med, why do you so galau just like me? :')

Quotes statistik dri cynthia, blj statistik itu kyk blj relationship. Liat kurva anova dua faktor dua titik tidk brtemu tpi saling berhubungan = LDR. Blj Multiple regression analysis itu ada independent variabel, dependent variabel, sm moderator = hub aku (dv)- kamu(iv)-ortu(moderator) interaksi dri moderator itu kuat, kl moderatr gk ad, gk bsa berinteraksi iv n dv. Bljr Exploratory Factor Analysis = semakin besar kesamaan dri common share smakin bisa bersatum semakin byk unique share (perbedaan) itu semakin susah keduanya utk bersatu :p
 

Novemberain

Hello, November!

I love being in the one last month before Christmas come!
I love November because it will more rain.

Masih inget waktu masih kecil, kalau hujan, aku tanya ke mama:

"Mama, boleh nggak aku main hujan-hujanan?"
Kadang Mama menjawab, 'Boleh, Nakku.",
Kadang Mama jawab, "Jangan. Nanti kamu sakit."

Kalau lagi nggak dibolehin, aku ngambek aja sendirian. Cuma bisa ngeliatin dari dalam rumah turunnya hujan. Hahaa. Dari dulu aku memang suka banget sama air :) Makanya aku juga suka banget sama pantai. Kalau aku ingat pertanyaan aku itu, aku pengen ketawa. Gemana yaa kalau nanti aku punya anak, anak aku tanya gitu. Bingung juga mau jawab apa. Mungkin aku akan jawab: "Hmm. Kamu mau main hujan-hujanan? Ke kamar mandi aja nyalain shower." (Kalau jawab gitu jahat gak sih? Hehee..) Sekarang sih, aku pengen ketawain diri aku sendiri, kok bisa-bisanya aku bertanya seperti itu. Yang aku ingat ketika aku ada dalam hujan I felt joy because I could dance in the rain.

Old Friend(s)

This month, I missed the miracle of moon phenomenon but it doesn't make me sad.

I have received other miracles!

Some unexpected old friends just comeback.

It is really surprise me.

Malam ini baru saja ketemu sama Ricky "kuskus" dan Dessy.
Hari ini Dessy ulang tahun dan baru tahu kalau dia di promote jadi supervisor di kantornya. Really happy for her! Kabar Ricky, dia masih sibuk sama tokonya "Ricky Motor" di Cibinong.
Kejadian ketemuan malam ini malah tidak disengaja. Setelah Ricky kepo dengan status FB gua dan kirim langsung private message. Gua message di grup kami bertiga yang ternyata last chat-nya bulan Agustus. Artinya, hampir dua bulan udah nggak kontekan, sampai-sampai nggak tau berita Dessy sakit thypus :(

Setelah ngobrol-ngobrol, jadi mengertilah kalau pekerjaan dan masalah-masalah lainnya yang membuat kami jarang mengobrol.

Memang hubungan pertemanan itu butuh perjuangan dan pengertian.

Berjuang untuk saling menghubungi di waktu-waktu tersisa.
Mengerti ketika tidak ada waktu tersisa.

Butuh satu lagi yaitu keterbukaan untuk menyambut satu sama lain ketika sudah lama tidak bertemu.

Senang sekali rasanya bisa bertemu lagi.

Sweet Brownies :3

Hoho.. It's a guilty pleasure to have holiday on Friday! Today should be statistic's day but.... it's a holiday! Hahaha..xD

So I want to make brownies :3

In the morning, after pay some bills, I tried to find a chocolate bar, cocoa, and some ingredients to make brownies.

I try to find chocolate bar and cocoa in some mini markets but it doesn't have it. I decided to go to traditional market and horey, I got it!

I wanna share it to my choir team tonight :3

"...whoever has food must share it." Luke 3: 11 (TEV) Especially chocolate :9

Hope :)

Kaca Mata Kuda

"Lu mikirin apa?" katanya sambil lirik kaca spion dalam mobil.
"Mikir gemana gua bisa selesain kuliah ini dengan baik." jawab gua sedikit bohong.
"Tapi kerutan di kening lu gak mengatakan itu." dia sadar masih ada yang gua sembunyiin.
"Lagi mikir prioritas aja. Kayaknya banyak hal yang mesti gua ubah... bla.. bla.. bla.." akhirnya jujur ngasih tau arti kerutan gua.

In this last 4,4 years I've spent my Saturday with teaching. I love teaching. I love my kids.
I sacrifice my weekend that I could spent with my friends. I sacrifice my social life.
I don't regret anything, I got worth return - improve my personality, teaching skill, financial independence on College. But now, I would like to say it's enough. 

My friend said, "Really? You don't have any passion in teaching."
"I just want to make my life balance! I lost about 212 Saturdays" replied me.
"I've spent this last 2 years in the forest without weekend." argued him.
"We can't compare your life with mine. It's not apple to apple." 

Yes. I can't compare my life with him. I'm sure, the one that I need for my new life routine is rest, reading more books, and improve my social life.
So I decided this November will be the last month I teach on my current music school.

Itulah salah satu arti kerutan di kening gua malam itu meskipun sebenarnya masih banyak hal lagi.

I think about my dreams which fly away and I almost forget.
On my way to reach my dreams I met some supporters that return into distractions.

Kayaknya kalau ada kaca mata kuda sepertinya bagus juga supaya bisa fokus liat ke depan.
Kaca mata kuda bagus juga sih tapi gak efektif.
Kalau gua jadi kuda, gua akan milih yang duduk di atas gua yang mengendalikan gua.

It means I prefer God control me than that kacamata kuda.
Ibarat kuda, sekarang ini lagi banyak banget cambukkan yang gua terima supaya gak belok ke sana ke mari enggak karuan.
Mungkin, keputusan inipun salah satu cambukkan untuk ngasih petunjuk, sudah saatnya pindah arah.
Cambukkan yang ini enggak terlalu sakit. Cuman akan berpengaruh sama my financial condition karena kalau untuk improving skill ngajar masih bisa diterapkan di Sekolah Minggu.

Kalau cambukkan yang lain, sakit sih. Sakit banget malahan.

'Kudanya' cuma berharap kalau Yang Tunganggin Kudanya  kasih 'makanan' yang bisa bikin kuat dan 'istirahat' sampai kudanya tiba ke tempat tujuan Tuannya.

*kedippin mata sama Babeh di Atas* ;-)

Earth: Hi Moon!!

The only one that cheer my night is the Moon and the Sky that I see every night. The good news is.... There will be so much miracle of Sky on this October as I read on Miracle! <3.

It'll be 5 phenomenons, such as:
1. A total Lunar Eclipse
on Oct 8, 2014
Start at 3.14 - 8.25 GMT+7

2. Uranus!
We can see Uranus!! Yeayyy!!
on Oct 7-8, 2014

3. Meteor Showers of Orionids and Draconids
Orionids: Oct 8-9, 2014
Draconids: Oct 21-22, 2014
The source said the showers of Orionids will be not really clear because moon's light.
For Draconids it will be amazing! Especially on dawn. It will be showers each hours!

4. Meteor Storm in Mars
It will be on 20 Oct 2014. We can't see it directly but the spacecraft can! So we can see it later!

5. Mini Moon
It will be on 20 Oct, 214.

See you, Moon and all your miracle!

Enjoy!

Complicated September

My September so far is extremely surprise me. Happy and bad surprise.

The Happy Surprise is something that I cannot share in this post. Maybe I will post it in November 2014 or January 2015 :)

The Bad Surprise is something I cannot share either yet I can give some clues. It is as bad as when my brother finally need to have bed rest on a hospital in the early September, but I think it can be worse.
Somebody just betrayed my fam!! It is just so unfair for us. After my father told me yesterday about that, I tried to be tough so hard. Hold my tears on the eyes.
But when I ask my parents to join me in a prayer, and started the prayer, I cannot stand still anymore. Too shock!
One thing that make my family stronger is we believe, every storm we face is actually God's blessing that we cannot see yet. It's a blessing in disguise.

It is difficult to keep my life balance. My social life, education, and some aspects is always be my priority. I cannot decided which one is more important so I do it all at once. I am exhausted.

September. I think it will be a calm month but in fact this month is full of temptation for me! Temptation of being lazy. Temptation to do bad things.
What I can do to handle it is remember both my dad and mom every time the bad though cross my mind.
I do not want to make them disappoint at me.

I really need His wisdom and love to pass these days.
And after this semester end I hope I can have my vacation (Hihii..)

Politik

Semenjak Pemilu 2014, rasa-rasanya perhatian gua ke dunia politik semakin besar.
Kampanye hitam, hasil quick count yang amburadul, klaim kemenangan semua pihak. Lucu tapi juga mengenaskan.
Sejujurnya gua gak terlalu suka, bahkan mumet sama politik. Tapi sekarang ini, gua sadar bahwa setiap keputusan-keputusan politik itu menentukan nasib Bangsa, nasib semua orang yang tinggal di Negara ini.

Setelah peristiwa drama Pemilu 2014 selesai, muncul berita yang aneh kalau Pilkada diusulkan dipilih lewat DPRD.
Agak kaget denger kabar kalau Pilkada mau dipilih lewat DPRD.
Yang bener aja? Masa karena alasan "rakyat memilih Calon Pemimpin berdasarkan uang yang diterima," jadinya mau balik lagi ke sistem Orde Baru. Itu bukan bentuk pemerintahan demokrasi.
Sebaiknya pemimpin-pemimpin itu baca lagi deh buku-buku dasar ilmu politik. Menurut gua, kalau emang alasan begitu, justru rakyatnya yang harus dididik!! Bukan sistemnya yang diubah. Kalaupun sistemnya diubah, yang bener ajalah, harusnya bikin yang sejalan sama sistem yang sekarang. Kalau rakyat gak dilibatkan, mau sampai kapan rakyat gak pintar-pintar?

Gua melihat, seperti jadinya, elite-eliet politik itu takut banget rakyatnya pintar. Takut diambil kekuasaannya sepertinya. Takut gak bisa korupsi lagi? Takut gak bisa berkuasa lagi? Takut rakyat matanya terbuka dan gak bisa hidup enak makanin uang rakyat lagi?
Rakyat yang pintar seharusnya merasa terhina kalau sampai Pilkada dipilih DPRD. Hak rakyat sudah gak ada.

Terus alasan lainnya untuk menghemat anggaran. Hahahaa.. menanggapinya cuma bisa ketawa aja. Kalau memang mau hemat anggaran, ya rapat gak usah di tempat-tempat mahal. Rapatnya satu hari, jalan-jalannya 3 hari. Studi banding sana sini yang ujung-ujungnya banyakan wisata. Banyaklah hal lain yang bisa dikorbankan untuk hemat anggaran. Masa sih hak rakyat segitu gak berharganya sampai gak boleh dipakai demi hemat anggaran.

Apapun nanti keputusannya, gau berharap semoga itu yang terbaik, gak merugikan rakyat, dan tidak hanya mementingkan golongan-golongan tertentu.

Untuk referensi, bolehlah salah satu link berita gua share di sini:
http://news.liputan6.com/read/2102433/4-alasan-klasik-kepala-daerah-kembali-dipilih-dprd

Positive Communities

On Tuesday, my ex-co-worker always ask me to join her community from her church. It is a Christian Youth Community from Harvest Mission Community Church. It is such a great experience even from very the first time when I was there. They are majority Indonesian who were go abroad and stay back to Indonesia so they do all the communication in English.  

The community is so open to new members and as I see, they do the talk.

What we are doing?

First, we pray first before dinner. After dinner, we will enter a worship time by singing to prepare into Bible study session. We will be asked to find a partner there and sharing about your relationship Jesus, their life, etc, and pray each others.

After that, we will divided by some groups to be a smaller group to discuss about some Passages on the Bible. There will be some questions to help us elaborate the Words.

On my last meeting with them, someone share about how she must die for herself in order to follow Jesus. She died from her dream. She had been hurt by her decision but then she realize, obeying God is the only choice. I learn a lot from her testimonial. I know, it's not only me who have been hurt when we have to obey God. After sharing session and reflection of the Words to our life, we will gather back to the big group and make a conclusion from the Passage. Someone will pray to close the meeting. Then, if you don't have any vehicle to back home, someone will give you a ride or you can back together by taxi. Before go home, usually we will have some chit-chat to know each other more.

What make them different from other community I have ever join are:    

- They do not shy to speak out what is on their mind about the Gospel.

- They do not shy to pray each other in the public, even their Pastor not think about his dignity to be prayed after the meeting by someone.

- They are, both girls or boys, participate actively to serve each others in many areas.

- They are always follow up about other's relationship with God.

On Wednesday, I join Jakarta Motivators Toastmaster. Actually, for this month I just come once which is today. Hahaa... It is not because I am lazy but sometimes I just feel too tired after study on Campus and do not wanna go anywhere. When I'm back there, I realize I missed a lot of things there. On that place, I always get positive atmosphere to my self to learn, and motivate again to improve my self because all of my friends there are too awesome. Hahaa. My target is to finish my project before Christmas. Now, I am on the 7 project from 10. Hahaa..

Keeping myself in the positive environment makes me away from my negative thought. I hope I can keep doing this activities. They keep remind me that I am too blessed to be stressed.

:)

My (very) latest goodbye!

It's been 12 years, we tried once but it didn't work.

Looking at you with somebody else just realize me everything.

After so many goodbye(s), I decided,  this will be my latest goodbye to you.

:D

".......I leave it all behind."

Bye!

September Ceria!

Time Flies!

Gak kerasa bulan Agustus udah lewat aja. August was so fun yet so hectic.
The most memorable moment on August is when I gathered with my old friends.

And an unpredictable thing happened last month. Going back to University is beyond my imagination. Tapi kalau mau ngeluh juga jadi bertanya-tanya sendiri: "Siapa yang mau sekolah lagi?" atau pertanyaan, "Siapa yang suruh punya cita-cita?", kadang muncul juga pertanyaan, "Jadi lu mau nyerah nih?"
Untuk menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan itu gua hanya bisa tertawa. HAHAHA.. Ya, ya, ya.. Semua gua yang mau dan seperti yang sudah-sudah, gua gak berencana untuk menyerah kok. Tenang aja (tapi sambil ngais-ngais tanah).

Bulan lalu belajar banyak hal juga, berasa banget banyak hal yang mesti diubah, ada yang mesti ditambah, ada juga yang harus dikurangi. Seperti post sebelumnya, the choice is mine. I think I made a big thing decision last Saturday and need to explain my choice on this weekend. Feeling so terrible sih sebenarnya. Campur aduk dan setelah nanti menjelaskan gak tau bagaimana kelanjutannya. So far, I think I can accept the consequences and continue enjoy my life.

Bulan ini gak terlalu banyak rencana so I can't wait for October. On October, my brothers will back from Egypt and Kalimantan and we already have some plans to do!

September, please be nice!
October, I'm so excited on you!

(sometimes) significant other is nothing

It is so annoyed when someone always push you to do this - to do that.
I hate being forced to do something that I don't wish to.

But it will be different when the one who asking you is your significant other(s).
At first, you will find it's okay to do something they think it's good for you.
For example, when you confuse to choose your way of life, they will give some suggestions. Their opinion will influence you so much. They will talk like they know everything about you and sure what's the best for you. Your trust your significant others, they make you do their suggestion (with pleasure) - until it become 'nightmare' for yourself. They will put their hands up and say, "Up to you" or "I have no idea". They are look so irresponsible.

The truth is the responsibility of decision about your life is yours.

The choice is yours.

Team~

As I mentioned in a couple posts, I had a music performance again :D and so excited about it.
I'm happy to join a team which has a good chemistry and a great dynamic. AWESOME!

Bang Ade, Me, Naomi, Frans, Kaleb

p.s: later I will upload our performance when I get the video :D

together forever

I love being surrounded by the people I love and separation always be the hardest!

:")

Hours, Days, or Years will never be enough for us!

Kamen Rider #2

Jadi ini (bukan) cerita tentang Kamen Rider (yang asli).

Sedih karena beberapa waktu lalu mamanya Kamen Rider akhirnya meninggal dunia.
Dari Bogor aku berangkat bersama dengan Bibi Uda dan keluarganya ke R.S Harapan Kita untuk menjenguk saudaraku yang sakit. Selesai dari sana, aku diantar ke ex-kantor karena ada janji sama ex-boss dan ex-colleagues untuk makan siang bersama. Sekitar pukul 3, aku dan beberapa teman-teman pergi ke rumah duka Jelambar untuk melayat.

Sesampainya di sana, aku tidak melihat Kamen Rider. Aku hanya melihat Om, Koko, Cici dan beberapa saudara Kamen Rider. Kata Om nya, Kamen Rider ada di rumah dan dia akan kembali sekitar pukul 5 sore. Kami memutuskan untuk menunggu Kamen Rider datang sebelum kami pulang sambil mengobrol dengan Koko nya Kamen Rider.

Aku tidak menaruh perasaan apapun kepada Kamen Rider selain rasa kekaguman. Aku hanya mengagumi sosok Kamen Rider yang sering dipandang aneh oleh teman-temanku yang lain.

1. Kamen Rider orangnya Independent. Kalau orang lain tidak suka dengan apa yang dia lakukan, dia akan tetap berjalan sesuai dengan pendiriannya. (Meskipun kadang memang jadi menyebalkan dalam beberapa hal).

2. Kamen Rider orangnya pekerja keras. Dia lahir prematur. Enam bulan sudah lahir. Dia sering ditegur karena sering gak masuk kantor. Itu karena dia sakit-sakitan. Dalam sehari dia harus makan lima kali supaya daya tahan tubuhnya tidak menurun. Dia pantang menyerah. Dia bukan dari keluarga yang berada tapi dia mampu bekerja dan akhirnya bisa kuliah dari hasil pekerjaannya sendiri. Dia berhasil mendapatkan IPK 4 sampai sekarang. Tapi sedihnya dia bilang: 'Untuk apa gua dapat IPK 4 kalau Mama sudah gak ada?' :'(

3. Kamen Rider orangnya peduli meskipun dia sendiri sudah lelah. Kalau di kantor sedang jenuh, lelah, dan panik, orang pertama yang aku ajak diskusi adalah si Kamen Rider ini. Aku ingat pernah tengah malam aku whatssapp dia untuk mengeluarkan unek2 tentang masalah yang sedang aku hadapi. Dengan caranya dia bisa menenangkan aku. Dan yang paling aku ingat adalah setelah setahun bekerja dengannya, dia bilang: 'Cynthia sekarang berubah deh. Gua senang. Elu jadi lebih rileks, lebih enjoy hidup.'

Jadi ketika aku melihatnya memakai kaos putih, masuk ke ruangan jenazah, mengambil dupa dan mulai berdoa, aku merasa sangat sedih. Kamen Rider aku lihat kuat, kini kehilangan setengah dari arti kehidupannya. Dia masih tersenyum, dia masih berusaha membuat kami semua tertawa.

Kamen Rider, tetap semangat ya!

Plans into action!

Growing means you take risk to go out from your comfort zone.

I have thought twice about received these roles and decided to take the challenge because I wanna grow. The roles are to be a secretary and act as a treasurer in my speech club. The challenge now is to re-count the membership due and collect the renewal membership especially those who will join the contest this Wednesday.

On the other hand, I have other music performance this month and need to practice. I also need to focus on my post-graduate program.  

Headache - because I have some responsibilities in different area.

I made some plans to finish all the task and find some difficulties. I don't plan to give up. I am planning to break the limit!

Hopefully everything's running well.

Faith

Tuhan akan memberikan yang terbaik pada waktunya.

Hari Kemenangan

Seperti hari ini umat Islam merayakan hari kemenangan, begitupun dengan saya. Rasanya menang kalau sudah bisa memaafkan orang yang bersalah kepada saya :)
Jadi beberapa waktu lalu - no mention- ada orang yang menyakiti hati saya dan keluarga saya. Tapi saya selalu memperhatikan kalau kedua orangtua saya dan saudara-saudara yang lain masih perhatian dan baik sama orang itu. Saya jadi bertanya-tanya sendiri dalam diri saya, kalau mereka bisa maafin orang itu, kenapa saya mesti terus memendam perasaan kesal?
Jadi hari ini saya ikut keluarga menjenguk orang itu. Kami pun bersalaman. Orang itu tersenyum dan menepuk-nepuk bahu saya. Rasanya seperti ungkapan minta maaf.
Terima kasih, bapak dan mamak, mengajari saya pelajaran yang berharga, yaitu berbesar hati memaafkan dan menerima kembali orang yang menyakiti saya.

I trust a wrong person

She always share something secret about others and then I tell her my secret then she promise she won't tell anybody.

-_-"

How come I can be that stupid?

To be loved, to be myself.

Again, crushing with someone is one of  the most complicated moment in my life. The problem is I must be more 'gak enakkan' to that person. For example, if I ask a favor from that person, I need to think over and over again for sure. I really don't want to bother him anyway.. Yes, the point is I don't want disturb someone whom I have a crush. And it won't happen if I just ask it to my friend.

Maybe I have some non-sense traumatical experiences about that.

All I need is someone who can ensure me that I don't need to believe about 'traumatical event'.

And make me believe that I am loved just the way I am.

Sakit Cikungunya

Pagi ini akhirnya gak bisa menahan diri untuk searching tentang cikungunya karena sakit yang menyiksa di otot betis. 

Dapat beberapa informasi tentang apa yang dirasa saat seseorang menderita sakit cikungunya:

(v) bercak merah di tangan

(v) demam kurang lebih tiga hari

(v) terasa ngilu pada tulang/ sendi/ otot terutama pada pergelangan kaki

(v) demam sembuh terlebih dahulu, linu pada tulang akan masih terasa selama beberapa hari/ bulan/ pada beberapa kasus sampai tahun.

Setelah mencocokan dari banyak sumber, ternyata, emang bener.. Semua gejala itu gua alami terutama di pergelangan kaki kiri, dan otot paha. Rasanya sakit pake banget. Sesaat gua ngerasa gak bisa jalan karena kalau gak jalan aja sakit apalagi jalan.

Tapi setelah gua baca artikel tentang cikungunya, memang sesaat akan ngerasa lumpuh, tapi sebenarnya enggak. Setelah tau kebenarannya itu, gua paksain jalan, dan rasa sakitnya ternyata bisa dilawan :)

Di tengah-tengah rasa sakit, kaki kiri ini, bekas kecelakaan mobil KETIBAN KACA.

Ah, entahlah. Sakit.

Ada saatnya sakit itu perlu dilawan. Ada saatnya sakit itu nggak boleh jadi alasan untuk berhenti beraktivitas. Ini saatnya membuktikan bahwa sakit bukan penghalang untuk melakukan kegiatan.

FIGHT...!!

:)

Find a way home

My Shelter, My Way, My Home.

You are always lead me back to You, to a home that I belong to.

I love the way You forgive me.

I love the way You let me alone just to give me a chance to realize that I can do nothing without You.

I adore You too much.

Bed Rest

Just feeling tired physically and mentally since my ex-boss wants to promote me. I am really thankful about it but doing something that you don't love just like lying yourself.

In last couple months, my boss send me and other colleagues the neighbor country to meet a client there. I was so exciting but not at all when I realize that the client is a difficult client. But the show must go on. Thank God, the project I handle has the most visitors. Unfortunately, the Client didn't think so.

"Please! Do something to make more visitors! Any cost will do! Any cost will do!"

shout the client.

...........

"What the hell you are talking about?" I said silently.

You want many visitors but you just give us short time and minimizing the budget all the time.

You even don't pay the company for our effort to held this exhibition!

*inhale*exhale*

After the exhibition finish, I continue my life a bit peacefully. 

I decided to resign from my job and planning to have some holiday.

Go to Oz, meet my lovely people and enjoy the views for 17 days (Wish that I could stay longer there!)

I went to ex-office to give some souvenir. My boss saw me and say, 'Why not you comeback here until you start your post-graduated program?'

At night I text my manager and said, 'I'd love too.' 

A day after I back home, I went to Bandung and stay there for three days.

I directly went to Jakarta and work in the next day I arrived in my dorm.

After three days I work, feeling like I am dying. 

I've got dizzy, fever, and finally bed rest.

I decided I will not continue go to office anymore for health purpose.

Work, have fun, travelling, is a must, but health is important too.

10 Best Things about vacation in Australia

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted
- Matthew 5:4

Remembering about last few post I wrote, I feel like God really wants to tell me something.
First, He wants to cheer me up and prove that He never create bad plan for me. I think God wants give me and my family a present that we never imagine before.
Second, He wants me to be a better person, in english, self-confidence, and in my services to others.
Third, Last but not least. He wants to draw me closer to Him.

Actually. there is a thing that He wants me to know - the purpose of my life. Well, I'm sure even now I am not sure what He wants me to be, the best part I can do is to do His way of life.

In this vocation, He lets me see His GREAT creations!!! Too long if I write in this blog, so I decided to make a list 10 best things that happen to me in Aussie.

1. Beach along the way

I really love beach and always want to come to beach. Since Jakarta is not a right place to find a calm beach, I thankful I can enjoy beach view from Melton to Heywood. Captured by Canon EOS 600D

2. Winter

@Heywood. This is my first winter experience. Kinda excited about it. A police man said I go to Aussie in the wrong time, but I totally disagree about it. Winter is not cold as my heart before LOL *kidding*. Capture by iPhone 4

3. Heywood - Quite place, Friendly society

My Mom pose in a school in Heywood. She really excited to explore this city. The society is very friendly. They always greet us if we meet them. Even a driver in a car will open his/her window in order to shout 'Hi..!' Captured by iPhone4

4. Blue Sky - No Polution

@South Australia. Rarely car, Forest, Blue Sky. Perfect! Captured by Canon EOS 600D

5. Building Architecture

@Victoria. Good sense of art! Classic design~ Captured by iphone4

6. Kangoroo

@Victoria. How many kangoroos in this picture? There is no someone who ask you some money to get in the zoo. If you want donate some money, just put it in a piggy bank there. I am sorry, I am forget the name of zoo. Anyone? Captured by iPhone

7. Public Transporatation

@Sydney. A train on Sydney bring us from Campbelltown to City. Clean and no crowded. Captured by iPhone

8. Animal Care

@Melton. Cloudy Morning. We bring Zoey to play in the park. This is a cozy place to read a book. In this park also has a dog park when dogs meet each others. Not only in park but also in mall and other public place. Beautiful! Captured by iPhoe 4

9. This Couple

@Ballarat. I love this couple and also Zoey the dog. The man is my nephew. He already be an Australian. He married Kak Wendy. I hope they are happily ever after! Captured by iPhone4

10. This couple also!

@Blue Mountain. The woman was my sunday scholl teacher. She moved to Aussie to work as a nurse. The Man is her husband. They are really kind and so make us feel home. Captured by Canon EOS 600D

That's some of my reasons loves this country. I hope someday we will meet again!
Thank God for let me see others His great works of His hands.

@Sydney International Airport. See you again :* Captured by iPhone4

Note: All the pictures are no edited.

Perfect time

Hi guys,

I am now posting from Australia. Tonight is very cold, about 9 degrees celsius.

I arrived in Melbourne Airport on Sunday, 1st of June. Actually I plan to go to this country with my friend, Irene, but when I tell my parents and also my siblings about this, they thought it will be very good if they come with me, remembering I have a cousin lives here.

So Irene decided to not join us and I feel sorry about this.

Anyway, the first day in Australia, my cousin named Immanuel, pick us in the airport about 1:30 am - not really cold at that time.

We hug each other and I can believe he was walking by my side in Melbourne.

It just like a dream comes true because he always ask us to come and our answer is always: one day we will come. So today is the one day :)

We went from the airport to Melton - his place. Stay for a night.

The next day, we go to his wife, Wendy, place in Heywood with his husky dog named Zoey. 

Zoey is a very pretty girl dog and wolf.

Bang Immanuel took us through the journey with the best view ever. Beach along the way!!

At some point we go outside from the can and took some picture.

Actually, you only need 4 hours travel from Melton to Heywood, but we took 8 hours.

Heywood is a small village with 1300 population, peaceful, and very beautiful.

I met Kak Wendy for the first time. She is very kind and friendly. I really love her! She cook very delicious supper for my family for three nights. 

Today, my family and bang Immanuel (without kak wendy and Zoey) go to Portland. We stop in a playground. I, my sister, and my brother play in the playground, my parents dance and sing below the big tree, bang Immanuel take pictures and video of us. That was the perfect moment I want to remember for all of my life.

Thank God for everything.

Tomorrow we will go back to Melton and stay there without internet access :(

Good night.

God bless you

:)

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Hillsong - From The Inside Out - With Subtitles/Lyrics

and the cry of my heart is to bring You praise

The best gift

Twenty-Four years ago,

It was a special day for me. It is a day when I was born.

I grew up, walking ups and downs.

Many things happened to me.

The worst thing is when I was a baby, I was almost kidnapped by someone.

The most beautiful thing that happened to me is to know Jesus.

When I was kid, my parents always celebrate my birthday.

Inviting everyone to come and I was feeling kinda special.

But today, I am not feeling special on my birthday.

It just a same day as all days.

I am not feeling grateful only on my birthday anymore.

Everyday, I feel great knowing God loves me, knowing He cares for me.

Giving me family which each member is so priceless.

Giving me friends not only to comfort and support but also to remind me when I did something wrong.

Giving me many experiences that I think I don't deserve to have it

Forgiving me, day by day.

Teaching me all the way.

Shape me like He wants me to be.

Never leave alone even when I feel He did.

I am feeling special everyday because I have You and I want to love You more.

I need more grace to do it and I know You will give what I need to glorify Your name.